An Alter Ego

2007-01-01T06:01:00.000-08:00

happy new year!!!

thanks to all those who played a part in my life in 2006.. it was one of the most amazing years of my life if not the best...

there are so many things i'd like to recap on and memories i'd like to recall but then probably some other time...

i do not have new year's resolutions anymore but i do have a list of things i'd like to achieve

1. exercise! walking/jogging everyday if possible
2. record and get my own gigs on a regular schedule - mooching off other gigs and being an intermission number doesn't count (not to mention its absolutely pathetic)
3. compose compose! must have a new album by the end of the year
4. invest my christmas money and stuff in stocks... i dunno how or where but it seems like an interesting way to make money instead of blowing it on useless things
5. i miss being on the dean's list
6. organize more events/be a backstage hand... teaches me a lot
7. prove myself worthy of an opinion column *hint* hehe
8. maintain status quo of no getting wasted
9. organize my desk and stuff
10. learn another signature piece (i'm so sick of man in the mirror)
11. stop getting sick
12. use 2006 as my blueprint for what i do

that's all i got so far... any suggestions and violent reactions are welcome...
have a great 2007

2006-12-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

ok...

i missed the SPO christmas party :(
i was looking forward to that...
they even had karaoke...

why me?!?!?!?!?!

waaaah...

well, i can't wait for all the food coming up for the holidays...

even though i think that christmas has become an overly commercialized occasion where you just HAVE to give gifts... (in case you're wondering, i don't follow that rule and i give to people who i think deserve it from me)... talk about consumerism... we are living in the post-modern era afterall... but why! on the most heart-warming and expressive time of the year... terrible... not to mention the traffic everywhere... don't you ever wonder where people go?!?!

i think its coz school just ended yesterday... and i didn't make it to the dean's list... argh...

2006-12-19T03:49:00.000-08:00

maybe you could explain
in words that i may understand
my stairway to heaven is more than just steps
but a dredging quest for answers
through the pumping in my veins
surprised? i am more than sober to describe
the ways of the world that others need not endure
unmerited this extravaganza
more than words can illustrate
perhaps i will think otherwise tomorrow
but for now, know this:
you don't fucking know what its like
having a needle between your eyes
and being choked by your own lungs

2006-12-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

guess what....

i'm so happy!!!

i heart Taylor!!!

can't believe i finally have a Taylor guitar :)
sounds perfect...

*tears of joy*

2006-12-07T01:43:00.000-08:00

i look outside the window my classroom in Mutien building into the Plaza V... i notice all these little glinting specs on one side of the building... what is it? am i the only seeing it? are they reflections from somewhere? i continue to stare out the window and wonder... until i realize... they're christmas lights... who turns on christmas lights in the middle of the day?!?!?!?! ack...

anyway, i had a very unexpected long weekend... lots of surprising things and priceless moments...

the green harvest was postponed to this sat so last fri i WAS able to hang out with the trumpets peepz!!! haha... crazy people... oh my gosh... check out the pics www.kenguerrero.multiply.com... happy birthday kenny!

sat was the wedding of my cousin maricor...
funny part is, my sister and i were there as the bride's cousins/guests and we are related to the groom who is a barretto hahaha...
nice to see so many long lost cousins and meet so many people including doug kramer (animo lasalle!!! grar!!!), their pastor who was a splitting image of LL Cool J (hahaha sorry if i came across rude while trying not to laugh out loud during the sermon), and (FINALLY) Claudine Barretto... i felt like telling her that its her fault i am mercilessly questioned by complete strangers everyday... ugh..

[dammit i am not mooching off her fame, can't you people see that i am making a name for myself?]

btw, star complex moment... i heard i was part of graphika manila - an exhibit coz of one of the acting/modeling stints i did for CSB... dunno which one though haha...

in other news: my cousin gave birth to a bouncing baby girl... how cute... and i feel old... hahaha...

i have so many things i still have to do... see ya critters...

2006-11-29T03:28:00.000-08:00

THE GREEN HARVEST WAS POSTPONED!!! just when i thought everything would be falling into place perfectly on fri, this storm has literally blown the event away... grr... oh well... hope this week will serve as a time to make improvements here and there... not to mention a long vacation this weekend...

in the meantime....
i'm enjoying the last few hours of internet, cable, phone, and electricity before the storm cuts off all forms of communication...

CURSE YOU OIL MONOPOLY!!! GLOBAL WARMING IS CAUSING THESE INSANE TYPHOONS YOU IDIOTS!!! THEN YOU COMPLAIN WHY YOU'RE ROOF IS FLYING OFF INTO OBLIVION!!!

here we go again... at least this time i can brace myself...

conspiracy theory:

PAG-ASA SCREWED IT UP BIG TIME WHEN THEY FAILED TO INFORM THE CONCERNED PUBLIC ABOUT THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF THE LAST BAD TYPHOON MILENYO. WHAT IF THEY WERE JUST SAYING THAT THIS UPCOMING BOUT IS AN EVEN STRONGER "MILENYO" JUST SO THAT THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE IDIOTS AND THAT PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE CURSING THEM TO BE SWALLOWED UP BY THE GROUND?

more rants:

kenny... i'm so sorry i can't go to your bday party :( waaahh! have a great one though

i'm getting sick and tired of my allergies... as i said, my nose can predict weather... should've known this storm was coming grr...

i'm just so pikon right now...

2006-11-27T01:31:00.000-08:00

i watched happy feet..

so adorable!!!
and the way they made thousands of penguins dance in such cadence is mind boggling...

well... i'm stuck at home again coz i'm sick... this is the deep breath before the plunge on friday... at least i have a couple of days to recover...

green harvest awards is looming... dadaduuuuuuuuummm

i digress...

some people are just funny... haha...

i digress again...

the weather is becoming nicer everyday... you can really feel christmas coming...

i digress yet once more...

i can't believe i finally found spare time to rant and rave away... for the first time in weeks i'm happy i can just stare at the ceiling...

like i said... deep breath before the plunge...

i still have to go christmas shopping.... the bazaar in cuenca is pretty nifty haha... i like it... it also has that air of 9 year old alana running in the football field...

(sorry digress again)

i'm looking out my window and there are bats flying around... i dunno why it reminds me of that french airplane stunt show i saw one day when i was about 11... it was amazing...

i think i'm getting a fever again... i had better go...

2006-11-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

happy thanksgiving everybody!!!

i'm thankful for

God for always being there through thick and thin
my family - Papa, Mama, Carla, all my relatives, my dogs Midnite and Rex
my friends - CSB people, SPO gang, Trumpets biatches haha, OB kids, the lost boys and girls, TLC girls, etc etc... too many to mention
my musicality - all genres imaginable, all the songs that one can break out into
my talents and abilities- music, writing, etc.
my school - i love CSB animo!
my memz - priceless moments and glasses of shirley temple
for everything else and
for all the things that make me laugh or put a smile on my face

wishlist for christmas hehe

-a vacation from all the work gaaaaaaahhhh
-gimmicks with old friends
-i need new notebooks for writing haha
-money would be nice :P
-an ipod = i wish!
-(i'm already getting a new guitar, oh joy)
-no stuffed toys pls
-etc etc...

2006-11-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

i heard some interesting chismax...

one of my classmates in CSB thinks i'm "maarte"

i don't know who that person is but apparantly he or she knows me...

that person is related to a classmate of my sister in her highschool

that's how she found out and told me...

i'm flattered beyond belief...

as my boss says, the more people throw stones at you, the more you feel special

regardless of that.. i'm just so happy to realize just how much i've grown up...

whoever you are, thanks

2006-11-17T01:04:00.000-08:00

oooooooooommmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiigggggggggaaaaaaaaassssssssshhhhhh

i'm supposed to be in palawan right now... doing a gig... then star gazing... then waking up to the best beach ever... noooooooooooo.....

oh well... i'm sure i'll get another chance...

when the Lord closes the door he always opens the window...
He gave me a voice acting job with my friend Nick for the Grin Harvest and a video shoot with another friend Caloy and i'm portraying "Pride" mwahahaha... how biatchy...

anyway,
i have been completely wired you might say...
its crazy having to organize an event program plus do all these projects...
h...t...m...l... gaaaaaaaakkk...
i know this is like super basic html but hek, isn't this marquee cool haha
but its all good... i'd rather have this than to be staring at a ceiling... its incredible how i have to be in so many places at once... its driving me nuts...

so here i am... i decided to take a break...

i relived some highschool memz with xants and taniboy the other day... long live bear jokes and toe jokes... (sorry i'm not corny enough to post them here haha)

i miss my dad already... :( can't wait til he gets back...

i've been meaning to make another essay... like the ones i used to post... don't worry, i'll come up with something soon... if i can find the time...

well, i gotta go... got stuff to do...

hi to the trumpets peepz! i wish i could hang out with you guys more T.T hi to SPO peepz! love you all to pieces! and hi to everyone else!

going out of my mind...

2006-11-12T03:21:00.000-08:00

make the work stop already.......

oh yeah....
i know the answer to the question i was asking in my last post already...

i'm on the verge of a major breakthrough

2006-11-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

i am up to my neck in work...

sorry i haven't been able to blog...

in the meantime,i'll post my christmas assignment enjoy...

Christmas has gone to the Elves

Of years and years that pass by
Of seasons that seem to fly
The children that have big smiles under warm blankets
Were sparked by dancing fairies, toys, and trinkets

From the North Pole they are, no doubt!
Made by elves all short and stout.
But you’ll never guess, after elves have their job done
And Santa delivers the toys, every single one,
Up in the North Pole that faithful Christmas Eve
Turns into a party you won’t conceive!

Floats with brimming lights shine about
And apple ciders fill brims without a drought
A Christmas disco is brushed up
With a DJ rocking in a Hip-hop/House tossup

Elves dance as crazy and insane
Snow cones are served with a candy cane
Elves slip and slide on sheets of ice
Screaming, “A day off! Isn’t this nice?”
“But more so, this is Christmas day!
Let’s be merry and party away!”

2006-11-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

i have a question...

and its something that you have to answer me...

its a matter of life or death...

and i'm dead serious...

friends...

i hardly ask for anything...

so pls post a comment...

i just wanna know your opinion...

question:
is it better to chase something with all that you've got until you get it?
or should you just let things go with a grain of salt and believe things aren't meant to be?

this sounds like something out of a cheezy soap opera but its not...
so don't assume you know what i'm talking about...
just post an answer...

2006-11-01T02:44:00.000-08:00

i hate it how people have this notion that if you start doing one thing, you give up doing everything else...

must we have to conform to one profession alone!?!?!?!?!?!

what ever happened to renaissance dammit!!!

2006-10-29T22:03:00.000-08:00

mwahahahaha

i just got a 100 in my basicom project and exercise!!! bleeeeeeeh :P

happy happy joy joy

happy halloween people!!!

2006-10-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

whew! finally a free day!

been super busy haha

organizing the program of the green harvest event in dec. i'm so excited haha!!!

i'm also auditioning for this band called Sandilea... hope i don't mess up... thanks for the contact CJ!

my dad left for London and California yesterday... waaaahhh i wanna go to cali!!!

i love the new Googoo DOlls album

tani is happy hahaha you owe me big time gagi!!!!

had a report in history of art2... hahaha... FUTURISM!!!!

GAAAAAAKKKK I MUST WATCH THESE MOVIES
1. the prestige
2.flags of our fathers
3.john tucker must die
4. the departed
5. employee of the month
6. etc.

time to crash around the house..

2006-10-26T00:48:00.000-07:00

i'm still alive

hehe

i just don't have DSL right now

2006-10-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

i had a dream last night...

that i was to die in 2 days...

scary...

2006-10-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

sorry i haven't been able to blog in a while...

remember my last post, the one about the ice cream from BTIC??? i'm gonna kill that biatch hahaha... thanks micah! i'm gonna get you for that unexpected treat!!!

anyway, this week has been one of those weeks that just seem to pass... at least school-wise... i had homework to paint 4 impressionistic paintings... love them, i shall post them asap..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLA!!! can't believe she's 15... i feel old... hahahaha.. i got her kokology 2!! haha fun fun!

Eric's despedida last night... no idea lives on!!! major jam session! all the old songs just refreshed memories from about 2 years ago... loved it...

music is the great communicator...

i miss having a band... daym...

There were choruses and sing-alongs,
and that unspoken feeling
of knowing that right now is all that matters.

- the ataris, in this diary

2006-10-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

i want ice cream.

BTIC mint and chips.

someone buy me ice cream.

NOW!

2006-10-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

its about time i've learned that the reason i have to take drug after drug every time i am diagnosed with another illness... its because i should be living another way...

i realized that i can't keep going down that path of trying too hard.. as strange as this may sound, academics isn't everything now...

i have come to realize what really matters is a complete balance... while in that fever, i thought about my grip on my music life, the arts... how i had lost it when the second term began...

i've been given a message to go back to the way it was since the beginning of the year... to concentrate on other things as well...

i had to drop one of my subjects... hopefully with the new found freedom and time, i may find my way to return to what i used to do every single day... i know i will, i never wanted to leave music...

guess i should just forget about the pressure that my peers put on me... seeing them getting ahead of me is not an easy concept to digest but given the choice, now that i think about it, i'd still pick the way that is being chosen for me as it is... that is to revel in something i have an edge over...

in this light, i shall continue my pursuit of my breakthrough...

watch out world

swallow all your bitter pills
that's what makes you beautiful

-john rzeznik, goo goo dolls

thanks johnny

2006-10-02T03:43:00.000-07:00

don't you ever find that there are times that you just want to scream?

2006-09-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

lo and behold! i'm on drugs... pharmaceutical drugs that is.. haha...

daym... i hate being sick... another few days down the drain... i want to go to school...

in this light... i have a message for all well and free of headaches and congestions: how dare you cut class!! as boring and senseless it may seem, i swear, when you're bedridden and frail you'll wish you attended...

in other news: i've been thinking... again... i have to leave this country... i'd hate to leave all my friends and all i've been doing but.... i can't keep getting sick in this climate while studying on taft ave at the same time...

aaaaack...

oh well... hot chocolate is all mine mwahahahaha!

2006-09-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

Eddie Mercado, rest in peace...

if you ask what i've been doing for the past few days, i'd have to say that i've been taking it easy... my projects aren't exactly stressful but more therapeutic hehe... i love color rendering haha... i'm so happy with my work, i'll find a way to post it here soon hehe

the most unexpected part of this week is that one of my closest friends is back from the states :) didn't think that i would be seeing him so soon... and to think that for the past month we've been emailing each other original songs and composing and stuff... so for about 3 more weeks during his stay, we get to work on our music together again :)

yayyyyyy!!! i don't have school today :) and i'm getting addicted to smallville again haha... i looooove tom welling :P
anyway that's all for now, gotta keep working on my sketches... later

2006-09-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

aaaaack... brain cramp...
am working on this story for the graphic novel and it just gets me crossed eyed coz its like a twilight zone type of plot... just think of it like this (SPOILER!): would you rather live to be an object for others to dream about? or to be living

i decided to take a break... and here i am...

i was just listening to my mp3 of its a small world after all... just for the heck of it... i realized how much i missed disneyland... the rides... the music... the sets... my childhood happy place... i want that fuzzy feeling again of being in another world... i still remember the pirates of the carribean ride that looks just like new movies... the haunted house with the ghosts that appear in the mirror... the submarine ride with the mermaids and treasure chests underwater... toon town! everything looked so animated and alive! not to mention all the classic characters of mickey, minnie, goofy etc... disneyland just has this charm that never fails to put a smile on one's face... i wish i could see it again...

i feel like stowing away on a boat to hongkong hahaha...

2006-09-13T04:03:00.001-07:00

i'm so happy to be back in school!!!!!!
missed going to school everyday...
its just so fulfilling
no matter how early i have to get up
I LOVE BENILDE!!!!!!!!

some of my teachers are so inspiring...
i love seeing all my friends scattered all over... a lot of them are even my classmates!!! small world... in particular, my hartds2 haha... classmates from highschool, SPO, my old block... insane.... every corner i turn, its not without a smile and a hello to a familiar face...

bought my materials already! i'm excited!!! hahaha... can't wait to paint and stuff...

have some work to do in the SPO... covering the chacha article (no not the dance haha)... PLUS!!! I'M TAKING OVER DUSTIN'S OLD JOB - ASSIGNING THE WEEKLY EXERCISE!!! WOOHOO!!! :) i'm also gonna be workin on the green harvest program with joseph... will update on that... i'm so excited...

i've also been more active in the LMO :) been playing the guitar for mass :)

joined a song writing contest too hehe... i submitted my work... i hope i win... i'll have money to hit the studio!!! haha...

laugh trip moment: enter classroom. filip13. frosh block. ack dunno anybody. ask "filip13?". quiet. sit. "hoy! bakit biglang lumaki mata nyo? bigla kayo tumahimik ah. may nakita ba kayo?". guy walks in front to throw paper. "totoo ba yan?". "nabuking ko ba kayo?"
hahahahahaha
i wanted nothing more than to step out and laugh my ass off seeing them interact...

will continue updating soon...
take care peepz!!!
byeeeeee...

2006-09-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

2006-09-08T00:10:00.000-07:00

to study every inch
and discover where strengths meet weaknesses
bound to a line surpassing depth
shall you wade in heaven's pool
send me a letter of your utmost euphoria

just felt like posting some dramatic shit hehe... anyway, i'm home once more coz i don't have class today... monday i get back to reality... sigh... wish i could hit the beach... its unbelievably hot...

i'm thinking of joining this org called Cause.. they hold gigs for charity... seems interesting....

i'm huuuuuuungry.....
i shall rumage the kitchen... mwahahaha
see ya...

2006-09-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

DOOOOOOOOODGE BAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha... love the SPO... that dodgeball game was fun!!! hahahaha

besides that its been nothing but OCness... weird coz its term break... how ironic that i'm more of a control freak without school...

ack... i gotta go... will continue updating asap

coming soon: conspiracy theory: OFWs to establish Philippine Empire???
will write a piece about that soon :)

2006-08-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

I JUST HAD TO PLUG THIS IN MY BLOG! GOO GOO DOLLS AND ELMO!!! HOW ADORABLE!!!

2006-08-28T06:02:00.000-07:00

on the way to my legend
nearing the beginning of an extensive quest
on the verge of a major breakthrough
nothing can stop this now
all is set in motion
as predicted in stars unveiled

2006-08-26T00:43:00.000-07:00

hmm...

been reading "everything is illuminated".. very interesting... especially the part of dreams...

for the past 3 or 4 weeks, i've been having more dreams than i have ever had before.. very surreal ones... these alternative universes have even inspired me to write a story which could possibly even come out as a graphic novel in the next Horizons publication if i intend to pursue it... what do you think?

i read in a psychology book that dreams do have meanings... although it is very hard to decode because of the metaphoric images seen while sleeping...

go figure

*beach*sandbar*a crane lifting a bus wreck out of the water*me going inside the rusted and coral encrusted bus*a brick prison*dancing penguins*helicopters*a sort of jungle obstacle course*ghosts seen only by toddlers*solar gun?*eye color changing*allegories*tennis court*evil man*mountain path to ROTC camp*

all really weird stuff haha...

in other news:

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I love this pic

anyway, i'm sick :(
waaaaaaaaaahh... but i'm getting better... just a sore throat a few days ago and a little congestion but i'm ayt...

btw, BREAKING NEWS! I ASKED MY DOC! you know that text brigade that said phenylpropanolamine (decolgen et al.) causes strokes??? the risk is for people who have high blood... but its still advisable to avoid when you can...

i have new strings - BOTH ELECTRIC AND CLASSICAL!!! I'M SO HAPPY!

i'm going to a rock gig in a while... hope its good..

finals coming up... haha... goodluck csb peepz...

i watched a documentary on national geographic on lions and elephants... why i got stuck watching it - simple - jeremy irons... he has the most dramatic voice ever! it doesn't get sickening at all... plus, he was reciting poetry as the documentary was running... sweet!

people... you know what...
i... want... to.. record.... gaaaaaaaaaaaaaak...
that's probably what i'll be doing this sembreak... inasmuch as i have 4 days of school next term more or less all day...

oh well... i gotta run... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-08-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

hi all

i shall i bore you once again with my random thoughts and violent reactions:

i need new strings... its getting on my nerves so badly... my yamaha sounds like a guitar that you buy from those manongs in the corner in bf... i even find it hard to play coz it sounds so bad... i must go to JB music tom without fail...

my lessons in academy one are going well... i knew it was an investment... i'm improving a lot :) woohoo!!!

ZUMA!!!!!! spent the day in my cousin's house... the funniest thing ever!!! there's this game called zuma (its like boble bubble where you have to match up the colored bubbles before time runs out)... we were all screaming and freaking out hahaha... and for the first time we even got my mom to play hahaha...and would you believe - EVEN MY GRANDMA!!! insane...

went to Tito Xavier's funeral mass... rest in peace... i only met him once but he seemed like a cool guy.. i hate eulogies... although, it felt like i was transported to spain or something coz i don't think i've ever seen so many mestizos in one place before.. haha...

we had our play last week mwahahaha... it was nothing short of a miracle that we pulled it off with flying colors... not to mention the food was delicious haha... i love theater... congrats guys! cast party!!! haha...

memz....... just rediscovered akazukin chacha on youtube hahaha... i remember so well how carla, alexis, alvin, and i used to act out every single episode after watching the show everyday... i couldnt have been older than 10 haha... maybe i am meant for film production and multimedia arts after all...

time to go back to sleep craaaaaaaaaaaaaash... night...

2006-08-14T17:59:00.001-07:00

this smart Broadband internet is such a bitch... i can't stand it... i don't know how many times i have to call and yell at them... i'm sorry if i'm scaring you guys but if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't blame me... dammit...

i digress...

woohoo!!!!!! last sat Something Eclectic had the first band prac :D!!! awesome stuff!!! the guys have talent!!! i missed being in a rock band hehe... the electric guitars, hard core amplifiers, banging drums... its all good... we practiced "waiting" by green day hehe... awesome... rarrrr....

rock on guys!!!

will continue updates another time... got stuff to do... byeeeeeeeee

2006-08-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

2006-08-11T03:55:00.000-07:00

aha!!!
updates...
i got 100 in my filipino thesis!!! its nothing short of a miracle!!! i guess its coz i knew my report through and through and the design wasn't bad either (i may have hope for MMA yet!!!) :D i love reporting when you know so well what you're talking about...

i'm so happy!!! i finally got off my lazy ass and organized all my guitar tabs!!! woohoo!!! its in one huge ring binder!!! like archives in a library wahaha... can't wait for 1st band practice tom either hahaha... its been like forever!!!!!

i grew up on sound of music but there's no way i'm even gonna try going for it...

1. i know for a fact that i'm not good enough vocally, nor dramatically to deserve a role there
2. it is logistically impossible
3. 18 UNITS!@#$%^&* i have to concentrate on next term
4. health-wise, no way i'm going back to the hospital!!!
5. audie gemora hates my guts hahaha

when i think about it though, i'd rather not do something that will totally take me away from what i've been doing nowadays... i mean, i love sound of music but, i don't find the 100% need for it... it would have been so much fun to even audition but cool where i am now...

less dramatic stuff...

hm... i need new notebooks... ironically, not for school, but for extra stuff i do outside academics haha...

been working on my originals too hehe... there's nothing better than to wake up with your own composition stuck in your head... i aspire to record a demo album of them wahahaha..

not to showoff or brag, but seriously speaking people, i swear, get into music!!! its soooooooo rewarding!!! its worth every second you would ever invest in it...

anyway, gotta go......... byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-08-02T04:54:00.000-07:00

music life is flourishing...

i have a new band... drumroll... SOMETHING ECLECTIC!!! woohoo!!! eclectic coz we're into all kinds of genres... hehe... i'm freaking out... i only thrash to rock alone in my room, when there's no one in the house - not in public! haha oh well..gig is coming soon.. you are welcome to throw rotten tomatoes at me then... updates on that to follow...

No Idea lives on!!! new song... :) woohoo! just like the good old days eric! :) thank god for recordable mp3s, internet, and your poetic bastardness hahahaha....

my gig in school went well :) hehe... thanks for the heart attack xants... loved it..

i don't see how life would ever be without music

other than that its been the usual class... reading various books... voice and jazz... and hanging with the friends hehehe...

wish i could go on and on about the ins and outs of my day - my basketball game for PE, my history report i nailed, and whatever anecdotes may have come to pass but i got stuff to do :P ciao!

2006-07-31T03:51:00.000-07:00

i miss my red hair
can't make it any simpler than that

in other news:

i love my subjects for next term!!! woohoo!!!

Freehand drawing
basic computing
Color Rendering
History of art and design2
NSTP

and its all more or less half day...
no class on thurs and fri
unfortunately...

oh well... i'll find stuff to do... :D
as i said about a month ago, my bumming days are over :D

that's about it for now... please leave me a taggie :)
thankies

2006-07-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

i miss being a punk

yes

i was a punk back in highschool
even to the smallest extent of wearing sneakers and an electric guitar

now... i don't even have a pair of chucks anymore!!! waaaah!!!

aftershock gig at eastwood:
last night was so cool... it was my resusitation back into rock mode... the whole time all the bands were playing all i wanted to do was get up on stage and thrash with them... there were at least 10 bands and a lot of them were really good!!! (props to jay and samsara!!! you guys rawked!!! katol, you guys also rawked!!!) I hung out with jay and tani boy.. tani and i were supposed to go to another gig in gweilos but we decided to stay around 711 coz of how much energy there was in aftershock... the bands played a lot of punk, emo, screamo, classic rock... it was all good... the loud music prevented us from talking and stuff but that was just the thing: the music was the communication... everybody enjoying the same music, everybody with the same musical talent, everybody in the same zone...

you can only imagine how i got home and started to have my own little concert at midnight!!! the neighbors must have been cursing me to the high heavens!

2006-07-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

hmmmm... updates...
cel's party rawked!!! i had fun :D saw a lot of my friends :) TLC peepz!!! trumpets peepz!!! hunchback peepz!!! and my cousin carlos!!! i also met so many people hehe...
happy bday cel!!! :)

no classes!!!!!!!!! wehehehe!!!
i did nothing but drink hot chocolate and sleep hehehe...

today...
i was so tamad to go to PE (knowing that the girls hardly play in basketball and knowing that my midterm grade in the subject is 4) so i decided to sleep in... ahhh... i got so lucky to receive a text from my friend saying that PE was a free cut period mwahahaha!!!

i forgot to update on louella's shoot last week haha... it was for her video prod class... we got booted out of intramuros!!! hahaha... but i have to say that i love the challenge of having no script but just emotion and character in that film... hope i pulled it off...

woohoo!!! i think i'm gonna start a new band :) i'm meeting up with a few people from Music Network on friday and hopefully i'll be able to work some stuff out...

i just finished reading the little prince... reminded me of the alchemist for some reason hehe... both interesting...

daym... i still have projects to finish... later people :P

2006-07-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

hi all...

bumped into my fav psychology teacher in the bathroom of all places and had a chat with her (cool prof award goes to ms. dusaban!!!) she was like "what's up with you!?!?!?" haha i mean, how many teachers are cool enough to say hello like that?!?!?!?!

hahahaha i enter my office this morning and i couldn't stop laughing... see, graduating people have to submit requirements to the yearbook office (which is right across the benildean press corps where we are)... and they usually stop by and ask "san yung yearbook?"... what started out as one sign on the door frame which stated "yearbook ---->" became a whole bulletin board!!!!!!! hahaha as in the whole door frame from top to bottom was filled with papers "DOON" "THIS WAY --->" "YEARBOOK --->" even in chinese, japanese, korean, (and get this) ELVEN! like lord of the rings hahaha... so we were all chilling right... me, nick, charles, and some probies... then this girl comes in (her face right next to the signs we so lovingly made) "SAN ang yearbook office?"... *insert mad and chaotic frustration here*

i have three parties in a row this weekend... somebody kill me... must... not... get... wasted... haha

i apologize for being unable to blog lately... i feel as if my life has gotten on track again - i am more than delighted to announce that aside from my academic projects and the like, i have stopped staring at the ceiling while continually inquiring "Now what?"... of course, my friends are a big factor to all of this, love you all... i seem to be keeping in touch with really wonderful people... (cool friends awards: you know who you are)... i've gotten back into reading :D yayyyyyyy!!! weird part is, some aren't even novels.. like "psychology for dummies" and "mere christianity" by c.s. lewis... i have to say they're good books, ironically unrelated to any academic subjects i'm taking now... this nerd is back people mwahahaha... i'm having a blast with my "theater life" in other words my performing, limelight, star complex stuff... hosting the general assembly for the probies in the SPO turned out so much better than i expected... fun fun fun :)... all i can say about the other two upcoming events is that its not coz i'm KSP but i love performing and i love my school... all ye asking me for those favors, consider it a favor to me :) (if you get what i mean heehee)... jazz lessons are cool as usual hehe... i love flying across the floor... *yipeeeeeeeeeee* my music life is getting better!!! my voice lessons which i earned through my blood, sweat, and tears is paying off!!! well, at least i'm getting more props for my singing voice :) woohoo!!!
i know this all sounds so thick of me to say but i'm just really happy right now :)

my dad isn't leaving for his london business trip yet :) its still tentative...

hmm... that's all for now... gotta go heehee

2006-07-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

random thoughts
i love the new pepsi radio commercial of bamboo singing*i'm getting so O.C. about my term paper in filip12 (actually, i just translated my old thesis but i'm putting more pictures and links to music videos hehe)*i may have hope for multimedia arts yet!*subjects i've enlisted for next term:filipino13,philosophy of man, business math(yay!!!), history of art2, color rendering, free hand drawing, and nstp.. i hope they all get approved*i'm still open for song commission!!!*you're a god and i am not and i just thought that you would know*carla is sick :(*i just realized i'm not addicted to TV shows anymore NOOOO!!!*sardines in tani's car hahaha*i had the funniest dream of all my TLC classmates posing in front of a video cam in a cinema and tani's new car - an orange convertible!*i miss theater games! ameoba! battle of the channels! paint a picture!* PROBIES BEWARE! I'M HOSTING THE G.A. ON FRIDAY MWAHAHAHA*new piece:

Icarus, give me your wings
let me fly from here
that I may melt in the sunlit days
the world has become my oyster
and all that could be spared
is lost under a velvet sky

*lalang*i want it to be christmas already*however refreshing these rains are, it is also getting depressing*googoo dolls, paramore, sheryl crow, jamie cullum, sitti, lifehouse, coldplay, taking back sunday...i need to get these albums!!!*music network acquaintance party on sat*thats all folks*

2006-07-01T17:29:00.000-07:00

its too early for stupidities like this...

imagine a quaint breakfast, reading the latest headlines of the sunday paper, getting pumped up for the Larios vs Paquiao game later, then logging on to yahoo messenger to get an offline chain message like this:

"If u love your mom send this to everyone on ur list or she'll die in 1hour I love my mama to much to ignore this - sorry guys - ang gagaling ng mga nagpasa! para kayong mga walang utak! pucha. And you call yourselves Christians and Catholics? Napakagaling! puta."

as much as i hate to rant about my friends who send chain messages, i must rant because this totally ruined my morning... I AM NOT SCANDALIZING THE NAMES OF MY FRIENDS, JUST THE MAKERS OF THESE MESSAGES...

first of all, how is it logically possible that someone can be killed by not forwarding a piece of information? what kind of disturbed person would curse mothers to die? its disgusting..

secondly, i don't believe that you can prove your love to someone by these messages... like yesterday, i got a text that said "if you love God send this to 10 people"... i mean, its one thing to love God or anybody for that matter but its a totally different entity to go around brandishing it with declarations... if you love somebody, do something to prove it... i quote Eric Fromm "Love in its most active form is giving"

then, there's the statement "para kayong mga walang utak"... ever hear that saying, "when you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you?"... this is self-explanatory...

not to mention that they even have the guts to apologize for sending it... maybe they're apologizing coz they like to make fools out of people...

lastly, whoever started that demented chain message must've really been pathologically ill... "And you call yourselves Christians and Catholics? Napakagaling! puta"... the maker expects us to believe that Christians are SUPPOSED to believe in these stupidities??? give me a break...

TO MY FRIENDS WHO SEND ME THESE THINGS: here's some constructive criticism: don't let the idiots who send you these things trick you into spreading their messages just because they want to be famous or something... if you want to reach out to your friends and stuff, send something more funny or worthwhile than that... get a life... :)

violent reactions are welcome on my tagboard :D

2006-06-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

i
wanna
make
this
post
kinda
different
so
i
have
decided
to
give
you
all
a
headache
and
write
like
this.
basically
i've
been
pretty
all
over
the
place.
hehe
writing,
voice
lessons,
hanging
out
with
friends,
guitar
as
usual,
chores
grr,
long
walks,
got
a
lead
role
for
a
play
i
passed
by
default,
violin
lessons,
jazz
lessons,
(i'm
a
bum
for
taking
only
11
units)
but
safe
to
say
over-all,
i'm
happy.
have
a
fluffy
day
people!

2006-06-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

i will update soon...

too many things going on right now...

tag in the meantime

thanks

2006-06-20T02:45:00.000-07:00

tuesdays and thursdays always kill me...

this is the point when i stare at the ceiling and say "now what?"

fyi, i dont' have classes tues and thurs

its been a long time... allow me to once again ramble on about the ins and outs of the world...

The Artist's Sky

Someone once told me that artists have an attachment to the sky. Everything then seemed to make sense.

Painters, thespians, musicians, dancers, designers, and whatever else mere mortals like to call themselves all have a special appreciation for that limitless heavenly abyss, that seemingly flat canvas above. Artists are creative forseers who venture out into the unknown to make something out of nothing. Artists try as hard as they can to divivde and conquer in a beautiful masquarade. They may capture the soul's image in a photograph and turn a frolic in the field into a musical masterpiece. In a way, one could say the human race itself is a line of artists because of the miracle of procreation.

However, for all their efforts, they have yet to achieve the infinite space that is the sky. Whether its cloud watching, weather predictions, or stargazing we've been looking up from time to time wondering what is up there. Artists not only wonder, they, especially, have this reverence simply because they cannot recreate its immensity - perhaps in surface, but not in depth. Some call it God, some call it a higher being, some call it a celestial being, and some call it an art form entirely.

In any case, artists continue to reach out towards the heavens for the sake of being like that higher entity. Like the sky, they push boundaries. They try to be perfect and are so in their own eyes when they find satisfaction in their work, even if it means days without sleep. They could possibly even find vindication in the little things they may create, no matter how inferior they are to the overhead sky.

(don't mind me, i am such an emo kid haha)

2006-06-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

ok... updates and random thoughts for all my stalkers :P

JR and i have been exchanging lessons if i failed to mention it before... i'm teaching him the guitar and he's teaching me the violin :) its the cutest thing... so instead of rotting around taft every MWF afternoon, we crash the wellness room (which is supposed to be for those who need counseling) haha... it reminds me a lot of the room of requirement in harry potter haha... it defines the term "conducive" coz its really quiet, the walls are lined with huggable pillows, and the aircon is perfect haha...

i'm thinking of starting a new band with my cousin julia :) she plays the drums and she's good... we were supposed to start a band before but i dunno what happened haha... her sister laura sings so well... her voice quality is just so mesmerizing... i hope she pursues music... gosh if i could sing, you would all be dead by now mwahahaha

in other news: this whole house is shaking... the 3rd floor is currently being constructed and its getting on my nerves... make the banging stop already!!! T.T

i recently discovered that i really like natalie imbruglia's music... "beauty on fire" brings me to another place completely haha...

has anyone ever had a dream in which you were flying??? wow... its so nice...i feel sorry for those who haven't had it yet... i wonder why humans can't fly...
speaking of humans flying, i wanna watch superman!!!!!!!!!!!!! except they should have picked tom welling for the part haha...

oh shoot... i gotta go... promise i'll continue the updates later...

2006-06-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

i finally got bored and here i am posting dramatic stuff... some are old, some new... regardless, its about time... enjoy...

Long Live the Waving Flag

How devilish it is for a flag to lick the wind
And what impishness is the whip of wind to a piece of colored cloth.
Yet, they sail together, more so - in regality and pride!
Will one see the woven life without a breeze?
As it goes, shall one know wind is about without the fabric?
A storm may come to pass however
and all may be gone, tattering and tearing,
leaving no trace of what was there before.
Textile turns to dust, and wind into an invisible hand.
But still, they ride together!
To be intertwined though no one can see.

Paradox

Analyze:
A notebook meant to be filled
As two minds run parallel
Justify:
The fact that lovers can't meet
A moth and flame
Think:
Chaos to fill the faint heart
Romantics always to be hopeless
Try:
Well should a eutopia stand
Altogether in a subtle world
However:
Whither can one survive
If one can not fall?

The Quest for the Holy Grill

I tread along the water's edge
Out yonder to the plains I'd see
A castle there and on its ledge
The trusses were beckoning me
So hence I went to meet the folk
The proud and queer and weird
The citadel called and I feel under its yoke
The grandeur that made it feared

So there I stood before its gate
As soldiers called my name, "Phil,
Join the Knights Tem-plate's fate
On the quest for the Holy Grill!
'Tis the instrument to feed the famished
'Tis the key to our faith and hope,
The freedom of those away banished,
The splendor is for us to soap!"

"Certainly," said I to the Knights Tem-plate
A dream it is - a knight and hero
Onward the company marched til late
- til our horses zest was zero
Desperately our search continued hence,
As the seasons fled in a match's flicker
And just when we decided to jump the fence
No reason was there to whine or bicker

Before us, knights, the Holy Grill flamed!
Majestic embers charbroiling infinite prime cuts
Never had chops nor fowl tasted so unashamed
Feeding all, from king to mutts!

On destiny

You make your own destiny. Therefore making it non-existent. However, in all destinations, the unexpected turns up. So, unforeseen destiny does exist - we just have to get there through our decisions. Who would know that one simple change of thought, mind, and heart could lead to more than what was opted for? For better? Only for those who could foresee; and yet make their own destiny.

Emptiness versus figures

Staring at a pad and pen... as tumbleweed flutters by…
A blank face and empty mind... the rooster strikes midnight…
There's a clean sheet here... and crickets start to bow cellos…
Caffeine stains are present... felines take a swim in the desert...
A fix leaves no correction error... only wind shining through…
Transparent wall in bounding... can cause glass to break…

The rich, the poor, and havaianas (opinion column, lalang, hint hint hint hahaha joke)

The biggest fad going around in the world of fashion nowadays would probably be the infamous Havaianas flip-flops. A pair of this costly brand of footwear could probably land you a place in the rich-kids circle - or in my opinion, on the losers bench. I shall defend my view through several points:

It's called ECONOMICS!
As times become harder and harder, it is a surprise that people would purchase a pair of slippers worth around P1000. I mean, with all this hullabaloo on inflation and EVAT, you'd think that responsible adults would budget their hard-earned cash on something more worthwhile.

A fashion scam?
I can understand that being fashionable is important to look and feel good, but does that mean it has to come with a price tag of an outrageous amount? You can buy the same crisp white slippers for one tenth of the cost in a tiangge.
The quality of Havaianas claim the slippers to last for ten years. I could probably believe that, but what if those beloved tsinelas disappear while you take a dip in the beach? What if the dress code of that posh club prohibits the wearing of flip-flops? What if they don't match the outfit you're wearing? I believe that it would be much more sensible to buy ten pairs of slippers for less.

Filipino first
As encouraged by former President Roxas, we should be taking pride in buying Philippine made commodities rather than imported goods. And no matter how many Philippine flags the makers put on those Havaianas slippers, it doesn't make it a "product of the Philippines."

Slippers anyone?
In the end, I think owning Havaianas is a superficial misconception of fashion. They are preposterously expensive for simple shoes. You might want to stop before the counter and ponder the fact that some people don't even have slippers to walk on for crying out loud! I feel as if this shameful disgrace of a trend shouldn't be around at all, much less in a third world country.

2006-06-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

morning people...

before last night, i've never been to a wedding... so you can imagine how amazed i was to see my cousin getting married... more so, she's my age!!! so young yet she and her husband both knew so well what they wanted... i felt bad for diego though - he got so many threats from the family hahaha... the speeches at the reception were tear-jerking... diego and laura are so lucky to have each other... all the best to you both...

less emo stuff... reception food WOW heaven! the sound of laura's voice singing, even more heavenly! then of course the dancing was the most stupid... tata leading the classic L.A. walk... for those of you who don't know what the L.A. walk is, its a line dance... let me quote my dear kuya boyfriend here: "if you walk like that in L.A. YOU'LL GET SHOT!" hahahaha...

and of course, carlos, came super late so i had no dance partner waah(queue in daniel powter's "bad day" here)... how i wish we were still in the same boat - literally and metaphorically speaking... digression...

Btw, i'm back to my dawn-of-the-living-dead self woohoo!!! i hate make-up... and i dare not start ranting of how traumatizing eyelash curling is...

with that thought i leave you now to ponder the meaning of life and existence
bye

2006-06-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

hello... updates...

cafe breton with pam...yum... could a place be more heavenly?

EK with micah... i'm gonna kill the guy at anchors away who didn't stop the ride until the 4th consecutive time... dammit... other than that it was fun... and the frozen blueberry cheesecake was the best... thanks micah!!! mwah!!!

guitar lessons, ok... the usual stuff...

carpool... has got me stuck in taft with nothing to do from 1240-4 every MWF so if anybody is willing to save me from losing my mind from excessive boredom, i suggest you contact me...

school... i have to write a term paper IN TAGALOG!!! SOMEBODY KILL ME... religion class is the best: prof enters room. prof sets up tv and dvd. students ponder movie they are to watch. prof says "class, we are going to watch hedwig and the angry inch, it is an r-rated movie"... WOAH!!! since when is a transvestite movie something for a religion class??? oh well, he did prove the point by saying that he was looking for his other half and whatever... more or less interesting and i love art films like that... plus, its a rock and roll musical hehe...

weather... my nose can predict the forecast... believe it or not... the rain makes me sneeze... grr... plus, i'm meteoric.. i find this gloomy weather so depressing unless i'm curled up on the couch watching a nice movie about shwashbuckling pirates with a quaint mug of hot chocolate...

xmen... i'm sorry... i didn't like it... compared to the 2nd installment, it left a lot to be desired... the makeup looked fake, the script was ordinarily dull, and some parts were just downright corny...

anyway, gotta go guys...
take care all...

2006-05-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i apologize for being unable to blog these past few weeks...

anyway, updates...

SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so happy to be back hehe... unusually, i've been enjoying my classes - guess it makes me feel as if i'm doing something... besides that, going to benilde has just been cool... its like school and gimmick combined... been bumping into everybody!!! its insane!!! :)

by the way, when you see the new frosh issue of the benildean, DON'T STARE AT THE COVER, READ MY ARTICLES!!! hahaha... dunno if i like the cover or not... never thought that i'd be featured... who'd a thunk... and i'm posing as a frosh... (FYI, i'm an upperclassman heheh) at least i'm not the usual pacute model there...

anyway, props to my cousin/student camille!!! she's learning since you've been gone on the electric guitar!!! i'm so proud of you...

hmmmmm... what else... taylor hicks won!!! hehehe i was happy with the top 2 so it didnt' really matter... thank god i didn't have class that day so i watched it live...

gotta go...
hi to everyone!!! :P

will update again soon

2006-05-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

life is a beach

- dunno why but it makes perfect sense... ayayayyyyyyyyy just came home from my happy place... i love the beach... everything is just on slow motion hahaha... nothing but eating, crashing, and bumming with the whole family... my cousins were there too so it was like UBE!!!!!!! (ultimate bonding experience) hahaha... how corny but true...

went to sepoc beach on maricaban island... nice... the snorkling was so cool, fishes would just swim in front of you and attack the chips you'd feed - and not just any fish, multicolored ones, like in finding nemo... clownfish, angelfish, urchins, must i go on? the abundance of marinelife in anilao is priceless... we were lucky enough to take tito ramon's yacht back to the main island (thanks tito poch hehe)... that practically defined the phrase "this is the life"... too bad i wasn't able to jump off it like last time haha... i hate that rocking feeling though... argh...

then there was the usual beautiful sunset... another priceless moment...

tito poch=the master (coz of all the classical pieces he played on the guitar)... another piece of heaven, playing the guitar at teh beach... wow...

after dinner was so much fun too... CAAAAAARDS!!!!!!! i love those high blood games that don't make sense after 10 secs hahaha SPEED!!! 1,2,3, PASS!!! woohoo... everybody mindless over pieces of paper... theme song from school of rock... hahaha...

TRAMPOLINE!!! how fun.... hyperactive teenage dirtbags galavanting like kangaroos in the middle of the night... we were like 7... amazing that it didn't tear apart... anyway, me and carlos were left because the others had to crash... of course, carlos crashed right then and there while i stayed up to look for shooting stars... wasn't able to see much coz the moon was so bright... it was like a spotlight glinting over an ocean stage waiting for someone to step up and do a spiel... (ever wonder why i'm in the literary section of the SPO? haha).... at around 1am i was about to give up looking for shooting stars and go back to casablanca but then i saw one really bright one... it shot across the sky like a firework... how i wish i could go stargazing every night...

anyway, less dramatic shit... due to my stupidity, i now have a limp - yes, i tripped and i now have a sprained ankle dammit... wahhhhhhhh...how the hek am i goin to jazz tom T.T oh well, its a small price to pay while at my happy place... i had so much fun... so many memz as usual...

in a way, its also good to be home... was able to see the season 2 finale of smallville!!!!!! and....... pipo has SEASON 5!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! CAN'T WAIT TO BORROW IT...

newsflash:
In light of my desire to achieve the honor of possessing a column in the monthly publication of the benildean, please stay tuned to the upcoming opinion articles that will soon be posted here. As much as I would like to relate my stands on various topics with you now, I sincerely apologize that the circumstances prevent it because of the need to crash. Thank you.

i love summer

2006-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

hi all :)

updates updates updates...

went to subic with no idea last week... it was fun hehe... we had kokology sessions up to 3 in the morning, ate a pizza the size of the table, walked the boardwalk, and did some swinging through the jungle like tarzan and jane hahaha
thanks for the invite pam!!!
we had an outing like that in tagaytay last year after no idea recorded... this time we cheated and just went straight to the vacation hahaha...

hmmm... been hanging around town too... i missed it haha... and the trumpets peepz as well = the craziest bunch i've ever met...

i finished the alchemist by paulo coelho... very insightful... i loved it except i didn't quite understand how the boy knew where the treasure was... my next book mere christianity...

hm... been singing a lot too... i guess my voice is finally back (frustrated as it is haha)... :)

i've been working on my articles too... what kind of summer is this?!?!?!?! oh well, the SPO is worth it... and a nice subsidy wouldn't hurt either hehe...

i have a volleyball game later and i'm bugging coz i wanna stay home and sleep haha... i'm such a lazy bum... i hate it... oh well, i just hope i don't embarrass myself later coz i haven't practiced at all...

hm... its been a long time since i've made one of those super opinionated essays... for the time being, i'll post my frosh issue article... this is dedicated to all college freshmen/silly rabbits hehe.. enjoy...

Goodbye high school, hello college!
By Alana Barretto

Most students will remember their senior year of high school as a memorable one because it was the final step before graduation. But after that distinguished march and a hot summer vacation of chilling out with friends, another rite of passage looms - entering college! Both high school and college are great but here are a few exclusive perks of both worlds:

Life in the college campus

You're free little grasshopper!
In a sense that you have the license to step out of the campus, anytime, to go anywhere! Taft Avenue has a wide range of different places to eat, shop, and hang out. Not to mention you could drop by your dorm and take a nap during that super long break!

Uniforms=history
Everyone has the opportunity to express themselves through their appearance. Within the boundaries of the dress code, students may dress up, look good, and simply wear their hair down. A punk rocker? Don't be afraid to show off those sneakers. If you're a glam girl, your cute outfits and chic ensembles will fit right in.

Student Organizations Galore
Participating in organizations allows a student to share his talents or maybe even discover them. Who knows? That inner theater actor or brooding journalist may be hiding behind those pigtails and eye glasses.

No need to dread your own sked!
For froshies, you'll have to stick to what the school gives you but after a couple of terms, you'll be granted the perk of picking your own schedule! A regular sked of being in school half day is not something you can say in high school. Not an early bird? Night classes are not a problem either!

Kiss stereotypism goodbye!
Farewell populars, plastics, nerds, geeks, and wallflowers! If you've seen the flick "Mean Girls", you'll know what I'm talking about. Because the college population is so big, there are so many people to meet from different walks of life. Everyone is unique because they get the chance to express themselves freely.

Events anyone?
That's right - parties, concerts, seminars, exhibits, shows - you name it! All you need to do is check out the bulletin boards and flyers and you'll know that your social life in the College of Saint Benilde couldn't get any better!

Smells like team spirit
Yup, simply being part of a community of artists and leaders will make you catch the Animo Flu! Cheering for the school team and hearing those bass drums banging away makes you feel more proud to be a college student than ever.

High school life, oh high school life

Nothing like bonding sessions
The fact that you can share so many growing experiences with peers is a privilege given to high school students alone. High school is known for its many cliques which chatter away like there's no tomorrow in the middle of class. You eventually get to know the teachers as well - the ones who have been around for ages and like to scream your last name with gusto. (Feeling nostalgic yet?)

You've just been punk'd!
Memories that really stay with you are the mean jokes, quick retorts, and mischievous pranks you'd play on every Johnny one note. There is no stopping teenage kids from tripping, whether it is mild or extreme which is like wrestling and setting a bonfire in the classroom respectively.

Shall we dance?
Some call it the most boring party ever; some believe it is a rite of passage. Some take this chance to be with friends and bond; and some think it is THE PROM!!! That exciting night where you get to look good and dance the night away.

Back to school enrollment
Unlike college, in high school you'll only have to enroll once plus, you don't have to go through the trouble of enlisting, scrambling to get the schedule you want etc. And what's more, mommy is right beside you to handle all the complicated details.

There you have it - the bonuses that come with the pencils and books of school.
Each has its own fun bits and pieces. College is a different world so just remember to go with the flow and enjoy discovering new things and reminiscing great memories. Oh, and don't forget to give people that shock when you say "I'm in college already!"

shoutouts:
eric, did you get the file? whatcha think??!?!?! hehehehe
camille, minky, practice pls!!!!!!!!!! haha... see you tues
SPO!!! miss you all!!! can't wait for the lspcon! WOOHOO hello backstage passes to barbie almalbis

its soooooooooooooo hot................ BUT
i love summer

2006-04-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

SPO TEAMBUILDING

TO ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE SPO: THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE MEMORIES! I HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU GUYS!!! MWAH!!!

wow where do i start?!?!?!?!
ok i arrive at school with my bag and guitar and the first thing i see is nick running up to me jumping up and down haha we were like little kids "we're goin to the beach!!!"

i couldn't sleep in the bus coz JM and the others kept bastardizing winnie the pooh -

"pang porn star si rabbit kc sa daytime wala syang damit pero pagtulog may suot na pajamas" hahahaha
"si winnie the pooh genderless - PARANG SI ROBBIEX"

the place was called punto miguel and we even took a bangka to get there... of course it was a totally rough it up place with no water and not much electricity but the fact i was in the beach was heaven.. yes, its my happy place... i forget everything else and just sink into the horizon... we could even see sumbrero island and maricaban island... i love anilao...

i was part of the purple team... THE GRIMACE WARRIORS!!! our cheer was voltes V inspired:

andyan na si grimace
humanda na kayo
kahit ube sya ay malupit ito
kaya't wag na kayong humirit pa
dahil wala naman kayong ibubuga

hahaha
- we lost big time haha... bitter...... :P "CHEAT TO WIN"/"CHEATERS NEVER WIN" pfft......

we had many activities like the pictionary, egg hunting (where we had to look for clues to the next egg), cheering: courtesy of geline haha... poor blue bananas had to repeat their cheer like 8 times coz they won or they were dared to do it in gibberish..... hahaha... tug of war was so bloody... literally... haha...
sagedysagedysapopo hahaha laugh trip, the losers were made to serve food at dinner and become bell boys for bags... concentration was also fun... i missed those old school games...

in between all the activites, we were all swimming and playing with the surf board haha... and yeah, i was still tannning haha... i also spent one sunset on the balcony of my nipa hut with my guitar... it was heaven...

we also had a bonfire.. sir randy was like "LET THE SACRIFICE BEGIN!" hahaha me, nicole, and louella also played a few songs on our guitars hehe... then there was also a bull session and luckily i got more good reactions than bad ones (even the bad ones i knew about already hehe)... i really got closer to so many people in the love shower activity with candles and everything pa...

then the highlight: THE MR/MS BPC BEAUTY PAGEANT.. but this time the roles were reversed so the guys were girls viceversa... and i was supposedly the mr. hawaii candidate hahaha... just for fun i sucked up the guts and acted like a guy making rampa haha... with the walk and all... everyone was like "ANG GWAPO NI ALANA!!!" hahahah... anyway, the images of that night will stay with me forever - joseph in a sarong dress, caloy with boobs haha, etc etc... the best was robbiex - mr/ms bpc 2005 hahaha... i was like "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?!?!?!?!" hahha.. dustin even said " ITS CALLED SHAME! YOU HAVE NONE!"... the questions were really bad hahaha i got "if a carrot is more orange than an orange, why is the orange called an orange?" pfft... anyway, I WON RAMPA KING and 2nd runner up hahaha... i even played the guitar for nick, we did "home" by michael buble - it was all good...

when i finally washed off all the eye shadow that they made my beard with, i went stargazing - beautiful... oh how i miss calatagan... i saw a few shooting stars... don't really wish on them anymore haha... then louella and nicole joined me on the beach and we had an emo/intellectual discussion on space, time and whatever haha...

our last day: i woke up to find that a few people didnt' sleep at all haha.. i played some cards with charles, sue, vinci, and enerose.. speed - the ultimate waker-upper along with some super fast high blood music...
we continued the swimming and spelunking (the beach is exactly like calatagan) sigh... i even scared geline with a huge ugly hermit crab hahaha... we couldn't stop laughing!!!

then we took pictures by the beach and rode the bangka back to the pier.. everyone had this depressed look on their faces... either because we didn't sleep or because we were all sad it was over...

i said goodbye to the others coz i rode with the van to alabang... i had so much fun and these memories will really stay with me... i'm so happy to have gotten closer to the SPO... thanks guys!!!

right now, its good to be home.. i missed my parents and carla... and the dogs hehe... and my bed (crassssssssshh...) anyway, gotta go... this post is super long already hahaha... more updates to come soon!!! :P

2006-04-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

wow!!!!!!!!!!

i have found that teaching is so nice... its really a fulfilling job seeing a student go from knowing nothing at all to learning how to make music... and its not about the money now... in fact i kinda feel guilty about accepting it coz i love teaching... i just try to think that the money is a birthday present or something hehe... my parents are so happy i've finally gotten off my ass and am a working adult... wish i had more students though...

i'm getting addicted to ice monsters btw... had some with sam/chuchua and annabelle :) i missed the trumpets peepz... we even met up with kenny!!! wahaha... me and annabelle even tried on bikinis - as if we could even pull it off!!!!! haha... oh well, its summer....... its awesome!!!!! :) the weather is perfect as well :)
i bumped into so many people in town too... after a while the 2 girls were like "why do you know everyone here!!" i missed atc... its like my 2nd home...

summer isn't even half way through and its already been the best!!!!! for holy week we went to ANILAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) it was the funnest ever!!!!!!! so memorable!!! :) hung out with andrew and laura and the carandangs...

that trip included a speed boat ride to sepoc - snorkling!!! woohoo!!!!!! i took so many underwater pics!!! the marine life is just beautiful :) then the next day we took a yacht to PUERTO GALERA!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! so much happening there!!! but the beach was too crowded so we just had some halohalos (heaven!!) and went shopping in the tiangge... i actually regret buying only 1 tshirt coz everything was so cheap... i was trying to be good for good friday... wahhhhhhhhhh... i couldn't eat the grilled liempo or chicken :( so i had to settle for the fish... that's when i started to get dizzy coz the yacht didn't stop rocking T.T i didn't get sick though... i just felt drunk haha... in fact, i believe if i did have some alcohol, everything would probably feel normal... the annoying part was, when we got off the yacht, everything was still rocking O.o....... the scenery was really nice though... we kept waving at passing boats haha :) it was an experience... me and my cousins were so jologz - we just HAD to sing on the karaoke machine... it was fun hehe... of course we were all out of tune and pathetic so it was expected that the whole poolside became empty hahaha... only 2 drunk americans were left near the bar hahahaha... hm.......... what else...... oh yea... carla and i went swimming with the sharks!!!!!!!!!!! wohoo!!!!!!!!! how freaky yet nice....... there were like 15 around us but they were little ones and really harmless... they were probably more afraid of us... there was also a sea turtle (which i'm sure raming would;ve loved hahaha :P miss you xants, enjoy australia)...... we had to head home from there unfortunately... i'd love to spend a week there haha... when we left we were like "WE'LL BE BACK!!!"

that's about it..... not to mention i was tanning the whole time hehe...
i'm actually getting beach withdrawals... sigh... i just miss it so much... especially the sunset...... wow......
however, this is the best summer yet and its not yet over hahaha......

anyway, thats all for now... i'm feeling the boat again just looking at the computer screen haha...
HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!

2006-04-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

this is the life!!! :) went to bamboo beach the other day! it was pure heaven!!! i couldn't believe it!!! :) the white sand, clear water, the warm sun, and an ice cold lemonade in my hand!!!

prior to that, i haven't been to the beach in 2 years...... so this was well awaited for...

actually, all of april i'll be more or less out to the beach woohoo!!!

apr 8 - bamboo beach
apr 13-17 eagle point anilao batangas!!! sepok here i come!
apr 19-21 SPO teambuilding in bauan batangas!!! woohoo!!!!!!
apr (last week) SUbic with pam and friends!!!
may 6 anilao again!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!

this may be the best summer yet...

i'm even getting a few teaching jobs heehee... guitar lessons anyone???

i'm still trying to get together with no idea for practice BUT YOU LAZY BUMS REFUSE!!!!! GRRRR.........

oh well...
soundtracks of the summer: island in the sun

2006-04-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

i tried so hard to keep no idea together...
i'm sorry that i gave up on it all...
but i had to...
now that i listen to the recordings of last year, its pure nostalgia...
i can't believe its been a whole year...
its so different now...
what i would do to get it all back...

2006-04-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

memorabilia

my memories of lola was of so long ago i've been finding it hard to remember. i was searching for something to remember my lola by when i stumbled upon the glass duck in the living room. papa had brought it home from her house as a keepsake. it was damaged but still good. then i remembered - the jewelry box. i ran upstairs and took the antique jewelry box out of my closet. i lifted the lid and the bittersweet tune of "cabaret" started to play. the wind-up mechanical piano inside the box always fascinated me.

i was transported back to lola's house. she had given me the wooden box with an inlaid flower design on the lid. it had an old fashioned key with a cylindrical shaft, much like the ones in storybooks. she taught me how to wind up the piano to play the music and how to lock the box. lolo's watch-cufflink was also in there, an heirloom of the past along with several old coins that are no longer in denomination.

the jewelry box is still a beutiful piece, just like she was. i remember that she used to give me things when i'd visit her- toys, money, and even a heart necklace. and when i climbed down the stairs this morning, papa brought out a few more antiques and glass items from a plastic bag. they were all from lola's house. he handed two glass items to me and two to carla. i got an amber-colored glass horse and cat. the last gifts from lola. i will miss her.

2006-04-01T01:09:00.000-08:00

time to blog........

ok... i've been sick AGAIN for the past week and it really sucks....... the hospital is even checking me for goiter... OH MY GOD.... at least i'm not in the hospital whew! anyway, i was thinking of making one of those super long posts like i used to........ haha... (needless to say i'm bored out of my wits)....

watched aeonflux today... didn't know whether it was cool or sick... i loved the futuristic stuff but i doubt that humankind will ever become so advanced... whoever came up with the concepts was a genius... i mean, who would ever think of people transferring information in a pill?

april fools' today heehee... tried fooling a few people into thinking i'm pregnant but they were like "fat chance" haha... how right they are!

hmmmmmm... what else....... i'm smallvilled-out.... can you beat watching the whole season 4 in 2 days!?!?!?!?! last night i even had a dream that i was sick because there was kryptonite in me hahaha... it would be nice to have powers like that haha....

in light of summer and the beach-hitting, i made up a new game
materials: a salbabida
mechanics:
1. throw the salbabida up
2. while its in midair, put hands together above your head. make sure arms are straight
3. position yourself in a way that the salbabida will encircle you when it falls
4. you must go through the salbabida as far as you can

the person who makes the salbabida go farthest around his or her body wins
hahahahaha... just try it for kicks

this house arrest is making me insane... i'd like to bounce off the walls haha...

i'm really excited about the anilao trips :) the teambuilding for the SPO should be especially fun :)

btw, a week before lola's death, i realized something... the saying "happiness is a choice" is so true... like i was hanging around in town by myself before my guitar lesson while munching on an auntie anne's pretzel and iced tea, then out of nowhere i started to smile... i was happy... happy to be where i was... at peace with the courtyard and fountain and everything.... call me pathetic and cheesy but its the truth... and i've been like that since then... knowing that i shouldn't depend on anybody but God to make me happy... even when i'm grieving or sick... i'm tired of being depressed... after a while i realized its pathetic...
in the meantime theres nothing to do but hang around and watch the world go by i guess...

i leave you with that thought now to do more important things... bye

2006-03-30T05:18:00.000-08:00

updates updates...

goodbye lola tina... your suffering has come to an end... rest in peace...
she passed away last week... its been more than a year of torment not only for her but for the whole family... it was terrible and i'm glad its finally over...

i'm sick again :( sigh.... it sucks... there goes my perfect attendance...

in other news:
went to school, got perfect in the history of art and design quiz :), submitted my shades of gray pieces a day early :), and got some coolness points with the project of noli me tangere
(paper tole with some sort of shadow effect hehe i have to say it was really nice :P)

i gotta go........ bye

2006-03-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

wahhhhhhhhh......

projects left and right.............. not to mention all the chores i have to do............

i havent' blogged in awhile hm....... been hanging around taft coz i have to wait for the carpool.... been sleeping a lot too heehee... :P i've been having the deepest naps of my life... its terrible...

chaos is also happening with my grandma... dammit........

went to tagaytay with the fam :) how heavenly!

music department? unfortunately, i've been busy... and i've been lacking inspiration for songwriting... damn.......

summer is here!!!!!!! ANYONE INTERESTED IN GUITAR LESSONS??? :)
i'm loving it!!!!!!!

anyway, gotta go :P
i'll update somemore next time

2006-03-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

i just purchased the 3rd season of smallville...

i am so in love with tom welling... daym... not only is he a super hunk, he plays superman!!! how i envy kristen kreuk...
its actually scary how i've gotten into it so much... its like they're real people haha... and i'm glad i didn't buy a series that is all-real-life, everybody-sleeps-with-one-another, type...

anyway, updates:
i've been swimming a lot!!! phew! hot bod, here i come...

(although, people put smiles on my face this week out of nowhere :p)

chilled out with tani again in starbucks... oh! the beautiful people! wahahaha... also yamaha... *drools at the ovation...

also had a family party with jamming session... i have to say, those are really fun hehehe... everybody going nuts with the margaritas hahaha...

that's about all for now, gotta do some projects... :P

2006-03-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

woah.....

i haven't updated in a while... hm... i have discovered a new barkada :) apparantly we even have similar interests and stuff :P the 2 really cool ka-chikka girls rain and mika haha... i've also been hitching with tani boy cool dude award...

cheap thrill:
me, tani and his friend went to bf... we see all these cameras and a video crew setting up near the ruins...
"hm, i wonder what's going on!" - alana
"baka nandito si marc abaya! haha" - tani's friend
[next scene]
me and tani waiting for my ride in starbucks...
"alana, tama siya, nandito si marc abaya!" - tani

this week i also went to an alumni formal dinner in my old school... OMG...... out of nowhere!!!!! they make me talk in front!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! somebody kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!! to add to the insanity, i had to talk about OB helping me for college... *sinks into the floor*
impromptu speech: "ms magallanes!!! what i would do for another one of your sermons!!! um....... ms malenab! congrats to the choir! i almost jumped onto the stage and sang and danced along!!... OB helped me blablaresponsibilityblablaindependenceblablabla.... ANYWAY! i'm still happy i'm welcome here and to have an alma mater! (this part i meant)

i miss the high school gimmicks of before *origami*clapping games*sagedisagedisapopo*raving about such little things*pranking the teachers*THUMB WAR!!!*whistling in class*nonstop hiritan*mind games*sermons from teachers!!!*choir :'(*

aside from that....... i've also been swimming!!!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!!! SUMMER IS HERE!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!! THE HEAT IS JUST HOT!!!!!!!!!! :p labo....... but you get my point..... and now that i only have 3 days of class, it seems like nothing but sun, pool, bright colors, tank tops, and iced coffees hehe... its the life!!!

i have good news :P well, i made a sorta tuck andress version of until you come back to me hehehehe... its soooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for once, i didnt' take the lazy road and search ultimate-guitar.com... but did everything by ear wahaahahaha... my composing is down the drain though... :(

by the way, i've been sleeping and sleeping and sleeping... i feel like such a bum... my parental unit said i'm growing though, so it must be a good thing :P

i got soooooooo sad when david radford was eliminated :( his performance wasn't great but he's so adorable... and he's 17!!!!!!!! hm... david radford, when i get there, i'm hunting you down!!!! wahahaha... my bet for the finals will be katharine and chris... i'll be ok with whoever wins between those 2...

more good news, (although its not really new news), just wanted to clear things up that home life is great... its no longer a hard, at-your-neck existence... :) i'd hate to leave home but i'm pressured to somehow... i think its coz my parents were working and stuff by my age... i'm sick of being this sorta princess having everything ready for her hand and foot..... oh well,i'll find work this summer :)

i'm currently reading the da vince code even though i've been done with my report on davinci for a week now... its really interesting, however, its so farfetched... its like "sure, cmon, yeah, right...." my next book: the alchemist wahahaha... i'm dying to read it...

in my history of art design class, we had this homework of making a plate of a band in mannerism form aka elongated limbs and unusual postures... i did green day... hahahahaha... i don't know whether to laugh or cry...

i just realized this morning how different things are nowadays compared to last year...everyday last year, people would be hanging out here... especially the lost boys hahaha... then no idea would be really active... and i'd be pestering them day and night... then i was also graduating high school... wow... what a milestone... and just a few weeks ago i turned 18....... another milestone..... and right now i'm getting ready to make a flyer for guitar lessons.... anyone wanna learn guitar??? teacher=right here!!!!!
check out my credentials and curriculum:

Credentials:

-9 years experience in guitar studies and playing
-Rated as advanced level in Yamaha school of Music which includes knowledge in chords, reading tabs, reading notes, dexterity skills, etc.
-3 years of training in Yamaha school of music and Casa Musica Alabang
-Versatile in various genres of music
-Composer of a number of songs
-Experience in performing for school events and shows
-Fluent in the English and Tagalog languages
-Easy to work with
-high school graduate, college freshman

Curriculum

Basic A
-Parts of the guitar
-How to hold a guitar
-How to position hands and fingers
-String names - How to read chord diagrams
-Simple basic chords (exercises)
-Strumming (with and without a pick) and timing
-Minor chords (exercises)
-Application: Simple songs
-Major 7th chords (exercises)
-Minor 7th chords (exercises)
-7th chords (exercises)
-Bar chords (exercises)
-Application: Simple songs

Basic B

-Listening activity: Tuning a guitar
-How to read tabulatures (exercises)
-Finger plucking (exercises)
-C scale - diagram
-C scale note names (exercises)
-Reading notes (exercises)
-Application: simple classical music pieces
-Techniques and additional skills (pull offs, hammers, harmonics, etc.)

shoutouts!!!!!!!!!

tani boy, mika, rain = cool people awards
hi SPO people!!! i'm excited for the new shades issue!!! :)
(e)LMO people, i miss you :(
xants!!! magpakita ka sakin!!!!!!

bea/lavah!!! why have you disappeared from the face of the earth??? i'm enjoying the book btw hehe

carlos!!!!!!! i'm so tamad to go to makati tom T.T but because i love you, i'll go :)

eric, miguel, i'm sending you a file... its an incomplete song and i need lyrics... help me pls T.T i have a melody and it sounds somewhat like "so slow" by freestyle and i really wanna continue it because for me, its better than the melody of "goodbye"...

to all my other friends, i haven't forgotten you and i will see you in the beach :) hehehehehe keep tagging!!!!!!!! :) love ya all!!!

2006-02-27T03:02:00.000-08:00

daymmmmmmm........

i love my new shoes!!!!!!!!!! close to 5inch heels!!!! phew!!!!! its so hard to walk in but soooooooooooooooo HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha... plus, i become tall wahahaha... unfortunately, carla is still taller than me T.T

i also had guitar lessons today... what noise...

also went to the parlor... :) got pampered which i dunno if i liked it or not... i'm torn between becoming all girly and wanting to tear up everything in sight... oh well, it was free... haha... bleh! :P

i'm climbing the walls... i have nothing to do... I MUST HAVE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!! DOWN WITH THE STUPIDITY OF THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!

i was listening to carrie and wow... she has this one song that blows my mind... its called "don't forget to remember me"... that just forms tears in my eyes... check out lyrics:

Don’t Forget to Remember Me
(Morgan Hayes, Kelley Lovelace, Ashley Gorley)

Eighteen years had come and gone
For Momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loadin’ up that Chevy
Both tryin’ not to cry
Momma kept on talkin’ puttin’ off goodbye
Then she took my hand and said
Baby don’t forget

1st Chorus:
Before you hit the highway you better stop for gas
And there’s a fifty in the ashtray if you run short on cash
Here’s a map and here’s a Bible if you ever lose your way
Just one more thing before you leave
Don’t forget to remember me

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep tellin’ me I’m on my own
Just like every Sunday I called Mama up last night
And even when it’s not I tell her everything’s all right
Before we hung up I said
Hey Mama don’t forget

2nd Chorus:
To tell my baby sister I’ll see her in the fall
Tell Mama that I miss her yeah I should giver her a call
And make sure that you tell daddy that I’m still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be
But don’t forget to remember me

Bridge:
Tonight I find myself kneelin’ by the bed to pray
Haven’t done this in a while so i don’t know what to say
But Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big old place
Yeah I know there’s more important things
But don’t forget to remember me

anyway, i'm supposed to be planning my beach party/debut celebration for the summer... ayayayayayay........ kaka wala ng gana some people and events........there are a lot of reasons why these things occur but since i'm practically not doing anything nowadays, i believe there is no excuse... i really hope my perceptions change asap or i'll be going to the beach by myself...
sigh......

2006-02-26T05:03:00.000-08:00

its time to leave this place...

this country is a joke... and its not funny anymore... i'm dying to leave for another place... a fresh start... EVERYTHING seems all messed up... and i'm not only talking about the coup bullshit...
i'm not saying that all these years have been wasted... i'm still looking forward to a few things but i'm just thinking that things would be SO much better elsewhere...

my tito and tita from the netherlands don't stop telling me to go to europe for a vacation, and THEY'LL EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE TICKET! BUT!!!!!!! i'd rather not go then have to come back here... I'D KILL TO GO!!!!! but i mean, i don't want to come back here depressed, behind in my studies, job, etc... beggars can't be choosers but i'm going straight to the US and staying there til i get sick of it... i dunno... anywhere from here is good... sigh...

i'd rather be risking everything in a place where i dont' know anybody or anything than to linger here where places, chances, and friends might not be as they appear.........

i know its like that everywhere but i just want to know if it is as bad as where i am now.......

somebody asked me once "would you rather be dreaming of a wonderful world forever and to never wake up? or live in a world or chaos all the time that will never be resolved?"
i answered "dream forever and never wake up"
why? i dunno... i'll ponder that some other time...

if anybody is still out there plssssssss... somebody give me a good reason why i should continue rotting here...

2006-02-23T03:58:00.000-08:00

okkkkkkk... time for updates.............

cant' keep track of everything anymore hahaha so many things have been happening!!!!!! its insane!!!!!!!!

feb17
i had every intention of joining the fashion show in school but i decided otherwise and i'm glad i did...
i watched godspell :) sooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss theater sooooooooo bad........ and also all my friends :( i even hung out backstage and pretended i was part of the cast/zobel alumni (alana strikes again!!!!!!!) wahahahaha....... it was so much fun!!!!!!! love you all!!!!!!! i even watched it for free (double alana strikes again!!!!!!!!)

feb 18
my bday celebration with the family.............. it got boring COZ CARLOS DITCHED ME!!!!!!!! but then i got really nice gifts hehehe... love ya family!!!!!!!

feb19
yikes....... pictorial.......... i swear, they made me a mosquito with all the freaking hair spray they used!!!!!!!!! argh....... it was ok, met some people and stuff... the gay people are sooooooo funny with all their hirits hahahaha... the most annoying part: my pictures look like hell!!!!!!! that's how much i don't know how to act anymore :( wahhhhhhh...plus, my face is so dark and my shoulders were so white... talk about makeup disaster!!!!!!!! argh...... however, i did get some nice perks $caching!$ hehe...

feb20
i wasn't able to watch the chorale concert in zobel :( i was stuck with the family in town, shopping and guitar lessons.....

feb21
class............ BORING.............

feb22
bum day... how useless can i get?!?!?!?!?!

today
class, enlisted=hello 19units.....

random thoughts........
i'm happy...... 16 and counting people!!!!!!! another little secret that's for me to know and you to find out wahahahaha......... one day i shall reveal all 16 to the world but for now, you can all wait and cringe wahahaha.......
got to go :) its american idol!!!!!!!!!!!! go katharine!!!!!!! go david!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

2006-02-20T03:36:00.000-08:00

i'm happy
but i haven't learned...
i'm tired
but don't stop...
i'm blind
but i can feel...
i'm protected
but by hawks...
i'm voicing
but i'm speechless...

2006-02-16T05:25:00.000-08:00

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i'm soooooooooooo tamad to blog................

BUT

since i'm bored, here i am

updates:

this has been the longest bday ever
feb 11
a whole day seminar... wow i learned a lot on writing and storylines... very interesting...
"to write, you must experience things, fall in love, yet kill yourself at the same time"....... go figure...

LAUGH TRIP!!!
i get home, feel sick... ugh... crash... then i start suspecting something... i wondered why the twister carla made me was taped to the floor, kept waking me up and giving me medicine... wtf!?!?!?!? later that afternoon, carla gets on the phone, i over hear "the others can't make it..." :) how cute... mama and carla were gonna throw me a surprise party!!!!!!! they were annoyed that i found out hahaha :) unfortunately, no one showed up :( but i appreciate the sentiment... (last minute planning kasi :P)

(the next morning they also got me the balloons i get for myself that say happy birthday on them, but they popped before i even woke up!!!!!! hahahaha I told you guys that i didn't feel like celebrating right??? apparantly, i wasnt' supposed to coz all their surprises for me were PALPAK!!! it was really soooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i love them soooooooooo much :D)

then mama calls me up [more surprises]
"you're going to the prom diba?"
a-"WHAT PROM?!?!?1 I DON'T HAVE A PROM!!!" (and at all this, i wasn't feeling well pfft...)
mama - "mikki's prom"
a- "the hell!?!?!?!"
mama - "makati"
a- "ok whatever goes..."

so i ended up goin to makati, walking around, rampa, crashing the zobel prom!!!!!! i've always wanted to do that hahahaha... but then for at least an hour all my friends from hunchback were like "WHAT'S THE PLAN?"
we all didn't know what to do dammit... halata ba from the south!?!?!?!?!?! hahahahahaha

eventually, we drank in justin's room [how he got past the guard with those drinks, i'll never know]... and hung around and stuff...
FUNSTUFF: *David=scene stealer/most adorable character ever*Justin tipsy*boots were killing me "somebody carry me!!!"*lights going out in the room!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!* WHAT'S THE PLAN???* [alleyway] "isn't this where gang members start beating us up??? -david* coffeeeeeeeee*

etc...

how nice...
at midnight everyone started greeting me :) hugs... how cute...

A NEW RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 330 AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had fun :) thanks guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mwah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feb 12
hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg oooooooooovvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr... ugh....... i had one beer......... that sucks....... feb 12 actually felt like any other day but with people greeting me :) hehehe i think i like it more that way... i can't believe a lot of people actually remembered.... so unexpected... THANKS ALL!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! i went out with the family and just chilled... my birthday actually hit me when i attended mass that day... wahhhhhhhhh....... senti mode man...papa even said "these next few years are gonna be so exciting" :) i was like thank god i'm 18!!!!!! i'm of age!!!!!!!! its the first day of the rest of my life!!!!!!!!!!! i couldn't be more happy for this life i'm living... so many opportunities... i'm loving it! hahaha thank you lord!!!!!!!

i have 2 more parties btw... i swear it must be the longest bday...scary 18... haha

feb 13
guitar lessons... more of a jamming session... classical piece omg!!!!!!!!!! even my teacher couldn't do it... the other one did... i was tulo laway... daym.... i'm checking out grants for music in the US btw hehehe... mama wants me to try :) she said i can pull off a scholarship but then i can only try........ goodluck to me.........

feb 14... don't ask...

feb 15
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! remember those little diamonds that i kept hidden from you all??? well, here's one: I HAD MY HAIR DYED FOR A LOREAL AD!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! its red and light brown and dark brown :) BEST PART: IT WAS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) plus, I GET FREE SERVICES FOR A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT!!!!!!!!!!! my pictorial is on sun :) hehehehe pictures to follow...

feb 16
midterms... ayayayayay!!!!!!!!!! i'll pass hartdes for sure but joseriz... yikes... nothing too exciting... just running around school, projects... hanging out in the office :P when i entered EVERYONE WAS LIKE "OMG!!!!! THE HAIR!" almost like a chorus!!!!! haha it was freaking hilarious!!!!!!! they loved it!!!!!! hahaha... :)
aside from my friends and i did notice that i got more attention from strangers in which i don't know if i was to be like my kuya boyfriend karl and soak it up [miss you na so much!] or hide in a corner... hhahahaha....

well... that's about it for now....... i'm getting woozy from staring at a monochromatic screen for hours on end...... bye...

reasons to smile

2006-02-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

:P

hi world... today was ayt... i was unusually perky today and even joseph noticed in my partdes class which is always fun... but i think its because i made porma for some reason today... lalang... i also met up with bea and she we had the usual girl bonding... love ya bea!!! i have to borrow the da vinci code, anyone have it??? i have a report in two weeks...

the i attended a seminar on headline writing hehe... i got good marks on my presentation coz people said they would read a column with
a title "philippine movie, an educational window" :P hehe...

i made tambay at the office and LMO... too bad for all ye we're gonna sing to!!!!! bwahahaha...

i also got really starstruck today... i saw joseph yeo in lasalle haha... and anton pelayo (he offered me a chair!!!! omg!!!!!!) lalang... another reason to smile... and go all highschool-girl on...

omg... i dropped by my lola's office and she is getting me ROCKS!!!!!! for my bday!!!!!!! talk about TULO LAWAY!!!!!!!!!! its like it just got me mesmerized while they were talking to me!!!!! i love you tata and toto!!!!

whatta day!!!!!! longer than it was supposed to be... i missed days like this... i did a hell of a lot of stuff... and in style wahahahaha... i wear my new fav jacket that people just go wow over... like "parang your someone who's working and yet fashionable" hehehe "you look different!!"

sigh... bad trip... my voice is all messed up... ever since i got hospitalized i haven't been able to sing properly... :(
i'm still happy with the guitar though :) in fact, right now i'm downloading software that will aid me in my quest to be better at the guitar... wahahahaha

anyway, gotta go :P
bye

2006-02-09T03:49:00.000-08:00

hi...
yesterday: i went shopping!!!!!!! woohoO!!! it was fun!!!!!! i miss shopping with mama hehe... and i realized how much i miss splurging impulsively... i got a hot new black jacket/matrix coat wahahaha... then i also got a cute orange swimsuit!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!! hahahaha... i'm ready to hit the beach!!!!! i also got tanning lotion hehehe... it was like my bday was yesterday hahaha... it was all good :D

what was also really cool was that i saw the hunchback theater peepz!!!!! yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! PY, celine, justin, david, noel, miguel, etc.. omg...the memories just came flooding in.... they're doing godspell which i'll watch next week :) i miss theater so badly... sigh... i'm trying to just be happy for the memories instead of getting nostalgia...

anyway, i gotta go... i'm tired... especially waking up this morning from the weirdest, scariest and tiring dream ever...

2006-02-06T03:09:00.000-08:00

ok...
today's trips:
woke up from weird dreams... breakfast... chores... practiced my martial arts hehe... thrashed on the drums... chatted with miguel haha (officially missin you!!!!!)... went to asian and i'm glad to say he looks like he's gonna be alright... still shocked though and it really puts a lot of stuff in perspective... lola's procedure went ok but it looks like she's in a lot of pain :(... ran errands for school and stuff in town... guitar lessons+me=sabaw... mais con hielo=heaven... chilling in town...

one bad trip:
hahahahahahaha... i was all alone coz i had no school today, right... and i happen to see all these couples holding hands and all that... i got pikon so what i decided to do was try and break them up by making rampa hahahaha... didn't work of course but it was a cheap thrill trying to cause havoc... i get annoyed with all these hearts everywhere... its not that i'm not happy but its just gets corny...

one stupid trip:
wahahaha i was bored with no cash on me (obviously)... and i thought, hey summer is coming up and i need a new swimsuit... haha... i tried on a bikini at rustan's... *laughs out loud* no way i could ever pull it off... still working out :P another cheap thrill though... :P

one cool trip:
tower records, i got so absorbed in "ever after" haha... i love trans music... no wonder its chev's anthem... i also like carrie underwood's album :)

one dramatic trip:
been writing some stuff... i leave you with these new pieces...

welcome to the split!
how nice of you to find
the hero playing both sides-
oh the irony!

however, laugh,
and you are not my kin!
scream and shut all else!
cry and you'll be my feast!

for the hero's welcome
is of loathing
disgust, and stigmatization.
Alas! will no one comprehend?

the dark stillness around
not even a martyr can withstand
to be succumbed maybe?
a final choice?
the last resort?
judge lest thee be so...

(i'm so contributing this to the new shades issue... i like it!):

analyze:
a notebook meant to be filled
as two minds run parallel

justify:
the fact that lovers can't meet
a moth and flame

think:
chaos to fill the faint heart
romantics always to be hopeless

try:
well should a eutopia stand
altogether in a subtle world

although:
wither can one survive
if one can not fall?

2006-02-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

i don't believe this... a friend of mine has been diagnosed with leukemia :( its so terrible... but i have faith that he'll make it through... pls pray for him...
my heart goes out to the families of the wowowee incident as well...
its such an eye-opener i swear... i feel so bad... and it puts everything into perspective... sigh...
i don't want to take things for granted anymore...

on top of that, people still have the guts to pick fights with me... actually, that's much sadder... those people have been accustomed to thinking that what they do is right... God save you...

anyway, thats all for now... see ya...

we are meant to be!!!!!

2006-02-03T05:45:00.000-08:00

i love the guitar... :)

You scored as Guitar.

Guitar

95%

Violin

90%

Trumpet

85%

Clarinet

80%

Trombone

70%

Flute

65%

Bass

65%

Piano

65%

Percussion

60%

Saxophone

45%

Which instrument would you be?
created with QuizFarm.com

2006-02-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

hello...
wow...
school...
grabe...
half assed compositions...
damn...
no band...
cross eyed, twisted fingers with guitar lessons...
reminiscing...
miss friends...
projects galore...
slipping in and out of reality...
trying hard not to answer back...
trying hard not to be mad anymore...
thinking...
thinking...
thinking...
i need a vacation...
birthday in 10 days...
all i want is the beach with friends...
not a party...
i have no money...
but i'm in for a party if its a surprise haha...
and i still want roses and candles...
lalang...
this post is weird...
bye...

2006-01-30T02:58:00.000-08:00

ok...

today i totally bummed out coz i don't have classes on mon so..... yeah... i was left home alone though so that meant i had to cook and everything... argh...

i've been looking for new tuck andress tabs and i haven't found any yet... hm... that sucks...i had guitar lessons today and woah... the dexterity exercises are KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can feel it running up my arm dammit!!!!!! i found a new place to eat!!!!!!! tokyo tokyo in the foodcourt!!!!! woohoo!!! for P50 you get a super merienda which is 4 pieces of california maki (oh yea, california+maki=heaven!) and miso soup!!!!!! hit the spot heeeeheeee.....

carla has these hamsters for bio aka stupid rats hahaha... she put them in this basket right... they tried to escape but they kept falling off... and its just so entertaining to watch because when they would get to the top their little paws were like shaking hahaha... and no matter how many times they tried to reach the top, they didn't get it through their heads that they couldn't escape haahaha...

hey i need your help people... i'm supposed to perform a song for my old school... WHAT SONG DO I DO?!?!?!?!?!? I'M GOING NUTS!!!!! any suggestions????

2006-01-29T04:28:00.000-08:00

:P

i have another little secret hehehehe... wouldnt' you like to know!!!!!
14 and counting people!!!!!!!!!!!! i love to keep you hanging :P

hi all... did i ever mention i had a brother??? lans-pics.blogspot.com
check him out...
i have kwento!!!!!!!!
its so amazing that i found my old friend daniel powley!!!!!! :) he was my best friend in the US... i was like 6!!!!! hahaha my jaw dropped when i saw him on myspace... i couldn't believe it!!!!! that's one guy that i go waaayyyyyy back with... i dont remember much but i'm sure we'll be catching up...

hm..... what else... ruthie... i miss you...

lately i've been sleeping and sleeping...
i'm off to sleep hehe
bye

2006-01-27T02:12:00.000-08:00

updates. updates. updates.

everything has been so-so... school, projects, coffee, sleeping, chores, hanging with friends, band prac... rainy day today... and i'm on senti mode... i hate it... i think i'll grab the guitar and compose a pathetic senti song... somehow, i miss being melancholically lethargic... its a natural high with no reason and nothing in mind...
but i'm dying to go out... except no money, no one to hang with... any takers???

i can't wait for my tv nights... yes, i've become a couch potato watching the oc, ai, smallville, friends, and one tree hill... i'd like to hit the beach sometime soon...

you know, i just realized that i'm gonna be 18 soon... i don't feel like celebrating... if i do celebrate, i'd like it to be different... not a usual boring party... i'm inviting you all to throw a surprise party for me hahaha... that's as fat a chance as getting to the US this year...

hehe... the ministry office has this service for people who want to send singing telegrams except its a harana around valentines'... i feel so bad for the people we're gonna sing to... it must be so embarrassing... nice technique for disrupting class hours by a gang of church people barging into a room singing... how ironic at the same time...

i got a haircut yesterday... i like it... lalang... and caffeine can actually allow me to sleep...

2006-01-24T20:15:00.000-08:00

this is the life...

random thoughts:

nothing but music... besides guitar lessons (i've got another sneaky secret there, wouldn't you like to know hehe) :P i play guitar, drums, etc for at least 3 hours a day... sometimes i go up to 6 or 7... daym... wish i could do that for the rest of my life... i've got a few new originals but i'm having trouble writing verses... surprising coz i'm supposed to be a poet... the publications office is coming up with new concepts for the new shades of gray folio... i helped!!! its gonna be abstract and fun... i've already got my portfolio ready to submit hehe... this week i also did my joseriz project and its cute... its a folder of rizal's family tree with pictures from magazines.. hope i get a good grade for that... i've been doing a lot of exercising too... and helping out around here... i'm missing the hangouts with the lost people already... i would still go out but i have no money :(... anyway, i've also kinda been having ups and downs... its the quarter life crisis but these past few days i've been cool... my days have been getting better coz i've been more faithful and active in my ministry org... did i ever mention i'm hooked on soap operas??? hehe more power to the creators of The OC, Smallville, One Tree Hill, American Idol, and friends... which brings me to another point, correct me if i'm wrong but i stand by the fact that soap operas are a very good distraction when the world crashes down on you... i think its the fact that people relate to the fictional characters so well... (or the guys are just hot) haha... btw, if i get to the states in time, i would really like to audition for american idol... considering all the losers who even DARE to step foot in front of the judges, i think i'd make it to hollywood at least... hm... with that said, i gotta go to school now... see ya around peepz!

2006-01-17T18:29:00.000-08:00

jan 18

the lost boys... and girls...

a day of surreality

9am - i watched my "so david" play... loved it... and missed the songs and stuff... its a freaking feel good thing... eric was so bagay for the role of saul wahahaha... what nostalgia...

12noon - band prac with tawana... fairly well... a lot of good songs... heard this cock and bull story that i have powers... no thanks... interesting and shocking but no thanks...

3pm - guitar lessons... my other teacher, edward, is so amazing... he's blind in one eye, his fingers are deformed, and yet he plays so well... best part, he knows all the technicalities... i think i'll switch to his classes... so he taught me a few methods and patterns on the scale right... OMG... insane... my eyes and fingers were all crossed when i finished the lesson... we also jammed out... i was on lead guitar adlibbing a solo... he was amazed by the fact that i could adlib and not know the scales... its like math, when you know the answer yet you dont' know how you got to it... damn... those theories are so overwhelming... especially after that mind boggling news (see 12noon)...

445 to 12midnight - seattle's best... i HAD to treat myself to coffee... it kinda brought me back to my senses only for me to get O.C. about the formulas of scales while waiting... omg... i was so freaking brain f**ked with too much information in one day... if that wasn't enough i met up with the lost boys and girl... we ate at pancake house where i jumped 3 feet into the air because of miguel (don't ask)... bea, chevy, miguel, raf, mikki, and i hung out and walked around... we then went to veritas... oh no... lets just say that everybody is closer now...some more than me but i didn't care... good thing all i had was a shirley temple...

then all of a sudden somebody said "after party"... the ideas went back and forth like gunfire... its gonna be a teenage miniseries art film... a pioneer in the phils... about love, drugs, peer pressure, and a lot of stuff teenage dirtbags go through... the characters are inspired by us with twists... i can't give any spoilers yet coz its still being conceptualized...all i can really spill right now --- miguel=writer, chevy=director, alana=musical director, ever after=national anthem... hehehe... this project sounds really exciting and i really hope it pulls through... its also a drive for me to compose more... :) its all good... i had fun :) i couldn't be more happy to have friends like them.. more power to the lost boys and girls!!!!!!! love you all!!!!!!

shoutouts: hi everyone :) thanks for visiting!!!!!!!!! mwah!!!!!!!! love ya!!! drop me a tag!!!!!

2006-01-13T23:45:00.000-08:00

jan 14

wed

i love having no school on these days... jam session!!!!!!!!! :) tawana and mikki came and woohoo!!! we have a new original!!! still arranging it though... i wrote it!!!!!! :) lyrics and music!!!!!! :D (its like...finally?!?!?!??!) anyway, i didn't think they'd like it but apparently they said it was really good... its a sorta slow rock... sounds kinda like bamboo, alanis morrisette, corrs, kelly clarkson... don't worry... it'll be released soon... let me just say, in my defense... i wrote it a longggggg time ago... i regret writing it but for music's sake - no way...

then chev, raf, and miguel dropped by... we played volleyball... FUNSTUFF: *ball flying into neighbor's house...no one home so mikki jumped over... whatta site...*raf making the ball go into the swamp a number of times*

thurs

bad trip..school... well it was ayt... i was late for hartdes... i have to say its very interesting... joseriz too... unusually... spo has also been chasing me about writing in tagalog... pfft... knock yourselves out...

Ang Martir

Lubos ang tusok sa kanyang katawan
Latigong kahoy ang bigat na bitbit
Ang natira sa ugat ay unti-unti nawawala
Siya ay nakabaon sa init ng madaling araw
Ang ulo nya'y may korona ng tira ng rosas
At sa katahimikan, natapos ang dula
Kasama ng kasalanan ng sangkatauhan magpakailanman

fri.. the 13th :P

I LOVE MY PROF IN PHIL DESIGN HISTORY!!!!!!! HAHAHA laugh trip... just imagine Dory from Finding nemo combined with Pheobe from friends... hahaha... flighty would be the right word to describe her... she just keeps going on and on but in a happy laughing tone... you can distract her with any topic at all... anyway, i realized that the phils is so rich in art... i never took notice of the designs on mats or pots or whatever...

anyway, i met up with raf and mikki in town... my grandparents dropped me off... omg... long story... then we get to my house and watch the OC!!!!!! and laughed out freaking heads off with some stupid japanese films... no offense to those cultures, but those asians all look the same and so their acting is just pfft... we didn't understand a thing coz it would buzz when the subtitles were on... we just scanned through the whole thing looking for the scary parts... dubbing at the same time... then pausing when they would make stupid faces... miguel came then we headed out to sinangag express and then veritas in town... FUNSTUFF:*blaming raf for everything*"raf! what the hell is this music?!?!?!?!" -me, mix, migs...*later... (everyone singing along to the radio)*UBE=ultimate bonding session!!!*me putting makeup on the guys hehe* in veritas, lights dim.. "WOAH!!!"* question:alana, who was your first boyfriend? answer:miguel, raf and mikki pfft*

inasmuch as nobody reads my blog anymore, i'd have to say its like so cool to be one of the guys yet not one of the guys... i love those guys... kulang nalang ERIC!!!!!!! (but in any case, its like he was there na rin coz of miguel) and i'm gonna miss miguel when he leaves...

cool dude awards go to the lost boys!!!!!! hehehehe

oh well... one day we'll all be in california hehehe
*sings "california dreaming... california here we cooooommmeee!!!!!!!*

i've been dying to go to the states for some time actually... i'm staying coz i'm still trying to make it big here i guess... as a model or musician... i've got exciting stuff but they will be my little secrets wahahaha... in the words of jack black: it'll be like diamonds that i bring out in my room, stare at them for a few seconds, smile, and stuff them back into my pocket wahahaha...

anyway, gotta split...

2006-01-10T05:56:00.000-08:00

jan 10

yesterday: first guitar lesson in years...

in casa musica in town? i say, it could have been better and it could have been worse... oh well... i hope to learn something new... i'm working on sweet home alabama, the solo version.., although this new teacher of mine could probably discipline me in feeling the songs... that's about it... i'll be able to pick up a few techniques... and i wanna be in the major recital where i could be part of a band... a real band... sigh...

the many speculations with miguel claravall

after the lesson... i was seeing double coz i was so hungry... so i get to delifrance and eat like theres no tomorrow... that peach croissant was gooooooddd...... anyway, i met up with miguel and its a nonstop chat... reminded me so much of eric :(... i missed the kwentos... what's different now, miguel has all these theories and philosophies that are all soooo intriguing... ok... i guess he just expounded on the principles that were already there... somewhere deep in the inner recesses of my mind... wahahaha... the evidence is in the stupid essays... but nowadays, i probably don't' take the time to think about them a lot coz of work or i don't know... anyway, we watched narnia!!!!!!!! hehe it was cool :D I LOVED THE EFFECTS... everything was so believable... it didn't quite match what i imagined in the book but i'd like to see it again... anyway, it was a cool bonding session... topics ranged from eric being whack, to the whack theories, to being malabo, to being poetic bastards, to chikka, to chismis, and shopping hahaha...
funstuff: *talo sa girlfriend!!! haha*me getting gulat with the wolves and miguel like nothing*no lines and no people coz it was a monday!!! haha*"you could've just given the guitar for me to carry since a while ago"-miguel "ok here"-alana [gives guitar] ((((BANG)))) "that's why i didn't want you to carry it"-alana*shower!!!*caffeine O.O*the bathroom smelling unusually good*me bossing him around wahahaha i missed it*kwentokwentokwento*etc...
cool dude award goes to miguel!!! woohoo!!!

today

i made the big mistake of drinking coffee... i didn't sleep til like 2... damn... i woke up perfectly fine though... weird... well, i took the dogs for a walk/run... i couldn't take another one of those sessions when the parental units fire somebody... yesterday was pretty bad yet intriguing at the same time...

i turned my room into the music room :) i love it!!!!!!!! walk in and boom! drums, guitars lined up, keyboard on one side, violin next to the drawers, cd player on the dresser, tabs on the desk!!! woo!!!!!!!

btw, i just realized that i am in a quarter life crisis... (yes, there is such a thing)... it made a lot of sense as to some of the stuff i've been experiencing... in fact, i believe it was triggered when i got out of the hospital... this quarter life crisis leads to a redefinition of principles, discovery of real friends, about the future... being secure and insecure at the same time... and about how the past is slipping away and that i'm sad about it yet i know i'm moving on and am happy about it... this crisis could also explain why i haven't been so concerned or passionate about some of the things i do... like why i haven't felt all WOW about stuff that i'd normally go crazy about...
its all freaky stuff and i believe it to be true... and apparently its happening to a lot of people...
if anyone wants a copy of the email, just holler...

soap operas = a nice diversion from reality... somehow its nice to get caught up in the problems of these characters... i guess coz its so much like real life... one tree hill... damn... it has got me squirming... hek... the nightmare of home life isn't as bad but its not over... i just wanna wake up from it already... sure they compensate towards us but the mere fact that they act that way coz of stress is just scary...

shoot... i dont' wanna end this blog on a bad note...
ok i know na...

i got news that i'll be doing a pictorial for a hair styling gig... it'll be a retro thing!!! my hair will be colored outrageously haha... and i'll be paid for it, pics will be sent to a contest IN PARIS, and i get free loreal products and services for a year!!! :) looking forward to that... maybe i do need a new image just to make me feel different... much like the facial feedback theory in psychology... ex. force a smile and you'll be happier...

well that's all for now... ciao...

2006-01-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

jan 9

dramatic shit...

(this is an Abcedarian, every word is alphabetical)

Aurora bears caped dark eyes - far gone
Here is Justice's KEY!
- locked many neighbors out.
Princess quietly rests sweetly
’Til under veil, wedding
Xavier. Yes. Zion.

Look!
The panther jumps up again in
Nook
High she dwells and towers kin
Time
Has compensated dissolution
Rhyme
Is cool with syncopation
Haste
The whip is at your feet
Taste
The emanating force leap
Panther
On the go above all else

Rationality of Predicament

To be one with the darkness
Let it swallow me whole
To hear wind chimes is far less
Than the fleeting of the soul
To hover over land
And see a black veil fall
To feel a gentle hand
A mocker of them all
To see light beyond the horizon glow
Have tears of joy form behind eyes
To know life has more to show
Aside from tricks and lies
A moment it is to finally learn
To believe existence is not in an urn.

I Am A Soldier (villanelle - the lines repeat themselves)

I am a soldier in sorrow
To fight for what I believe in not
and I die to live again tomorrow.

Climbing through a trench hollow
The masses have wrought,
I am a soldier in sorrow.

The wounded have had a row
Wasting all that they've got
and I die to live again tomorrow.

My God! Did you have to make it so?
Hatred taking the whole lot?
I am a soldier in sorrow!

Alas, one day I shall go
Make a change of thought
and I die to live again tomorrow.

Today's rain is yesterday's shadow.
The lead burns out to a stop.
I am a soldier in sorrow
and I die to live again tomorrow.

2006-01-05T02:59:00.000-08:00

jan 5

the cutest kwento ever

characters:

alana - yours truly

carlo - my 4 year old 2nd cousin

tita - his mom

tito - his dad

carla - my sis

julio - my cousin

marco - my cousin

monique - my cousin

chorus - all of my other cousins present then

narrator - yours truly

act 1

Narrator: Let me tell you I had a laugh. Kids are really so cute when it comes to what they do and say.

[in monique's room during the party carlo, carla, marco, monique, and the chorus find themselves playing ps2]

carlo: ALANA KISSED JULIO! ALANA KISSED JULIO! ALANA KISSED JULIO! [very annoying to the others present]

marco:what is up with this kid

monique: he's so annoying!!! shutup!!! we're trying to play!!!

carla:that was just a beso-beso argh...

[carlo in the background screaming his head off]

carla: sige! i'll tell alana!!!!!!!

carlo: noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [runs out of room]

[monique slams door and locks it as laughter erupts from the chorus inside the room]

act 2

[after the party at tita's and tito's house, a 4 year old kid tells his parents something intriguing]

carlo: you know what? i have a girlfriend

tito&tita: [amused and shocked] and who is your girlfriend?!?!?1

carlo: she was at the party

[tita and tito bring out the pictures and he points out to alana]

Narrator: how cute is that? i couldn't stop laughing

back to school... at last...

i'm so happy i'm back in school... although my classes are like 3 hours long each, its all good... joseph is my classmate in 2 subjects!!!! what are the odds of that?!?!?!?!?! hahaha... raine and nick are also my classmates in 1 subject... it should be fun :) bad news: i lost my grant/subsidy coz of my failing grades which were caused by my illness (IF YOU DARE THINK I'M A FLUNKER YOU HAD BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK!)... it was 15% too... damn... all that hard work... sigh... oh well, at least i didn't have to do chores at home today wahaha...

i have more kwento!!! haha... my prof in history of art and design is new in the school... so he's new to the system and all that... when the bell went off in the middle of class HE STARTED TO PANIC AND TOTALLY FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!! you could see his eyes swell up then its like everything became quiet for 10secs... everyone was just watching him then he said, "Does this school have a bell or is that the fire alarm?!?!?!?!" its like *makes him batok on the head ((((togoiynggggg))))*

2006-01-04T02:58:00.000-08:00

jan 4 2006 baby!

thrashing... gotta love it...

the other day i bought myself some new electric guitar strings... never have i realized how much i missed thrashing... thrashing, shredding, and rocking out... i love it... i was playing everything with distortion baby... ITS FREAKING INSANE!!!!!!!

on the playlist:
1. pretty vegas!!! woohoo!!! JD Fortune rocks!!!

2. since you've been gone... thrash

3. he wasn't... very relevant...

4. bohemian rhapsody... whew... very tiring but awesome...

5. school of rock stuff... (rimbimbimbim :P)

6. man in the mirror never sounded more like the original

7. etc etc. etc.

i slept that night tired after being so energized... i couldn't have been more happy...

town adventures

we bumping into mikki 2 times in 2 consecutive days... we painted town red... insane... there wasn't a corridor we didn't floor... and no cool appliance/computer store we didn't enter...

i enrolled in casa musica!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!! i'll be in town 3-4 on mondays :)

nachos were the best hehe...

nothing like a few people to hunt down wahahaha...

(btw, new pics in my photo blog hehe)

back to the salt mines tom

but not for me coz my sked is as follows:

t 1-230

th 9-230

f 9-12

that's all for now people... see ya...

2006-01-02T05:24:00.000-08:00

jan 2 2006!!!

new year...

i'm really happy its a new year... but it seems as though its just another day... had a really fun family party yesterday... i love that side of the family... they're the best... *musical chairs* egg toss* prize money* coin throwing* red dog* dancing* need i say more?
btw, i was the oldest kid there and the shortest... that's why i made it a point to jump when the clock hit 12... ny's eve, we spent in ortigas on a rooftop... nice hehe... all around you could see everybody goin crazy... but then the smog was really bad so... i think i prefer tagaytay as usual...

today...

went to town... spoiled myself to a huge starbucks coffee...yum... and bought myself... dumdumdum... NEW ELECTRIC GUITAR STRINGS!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! I MISSED THRASHING SO MUCH... i didn't stop for like 3 hours... theres just something about thrashing that makes it the best thing in the world... i even missed my weekly dose of one tree hill for it... anyway... to add to the coolness, i just enrolled in casa musica ahem ahem ADVANCED GUITAR LESSONS... i dont' know if i mentioned it already but i was evaluated by my teacher right... so after like 10 secs of playing man in the mirror, he's like "ok! magaling! advanced ka na!" (i'm like hehehehe in your face pops orchestra) "mas magaling ka pa nga sa akin eh!" (at this point heaven's light shone down upon me and i heard a chorus singing in the background wahahaha)... i hope to learn the technicalities of music this time around though coz i suck at them... i'm writing a new song hehe... i swear its the next goodbye...

other kwento? hm... life at home has not been harder... wish i could rant and rant and rant but that's all i can say... hope that school comes sooner...

well, i miss all of you... hope to see everybody soon... it would be comforting considering the fact that it would lift my spirits coz the holidays are over... if anyone is free and bored mondays or wednesdays, i have no classes hehehe...

2005-12-31T00:53:00.000-08:00

Dec 31 2005

evaluation of this year...

this year has been a year of the extremes... extreme joy and extreme pain... some significant incidents to justify this phrase would be as follows: my band recorded twice making an album... i was hospitalized twice coz i was ill... i graduated and i'm in college... my family was in a financial fix... i met many new friends, regained a lot, and lost some... there is hope for tomorrow but with confusion for today...

i can't wait for the new year actually... weird part is, i don't feel as if this is the last day of 2005... and as the years pass,the holidays seem less and less significant... i have been having a lot of parties though with my family, blockmates, old classmates, and old friends... sometimes even 3 parties in one night... christmas was not as good as last year but it was ayt... nothing out of the ordinary except unexpected people wishing me a merry christmas and pyro olympics... there were many happy and fun times but its hard to remember when people around you act so bitchy... a consolation prize would probably be turned into cinderella doing all the dirty work... i hope school will block it out... i'll be happy when summer comes around... my fav season of all...

hm... more on this year... i don't feel like i want to remember... its been a year for the record though (if you read that post)... i tried many new things...but the extremes cancel one another out... i know i shouldn't feel like this but i can't help it... i really hope next year is much better...

rockets are going off and i don't feel like celebrating actually... i feel like being a party pooper and sleeping... i'd probably go out though if i was partying with some fun people... family parties can be sooooooo boring... i'd like to have another get together like with the TLC classmates like a few weeks ago or miguel c's return to town haha... btw, belated happy bday raming!!!!!!!!! i have to say that the tagaytay trip with my cousins was fun... we played zelda wohoo!!!

sorry i haven't been writing either and you all will probably not understand a thing i'm saying... however, understand this: my new year's resolution is to not have a resolution this year because i'll just break it... if i'm any less bitchy, its because i just happen to become so, not because i did it on purpose (labo :P)... anyway, hope you all have a happy new year... play it safe with the fireworks... ciao!

2005-12-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

dec 19

this is different...

last sat and today i hung out with my old tlc classmates!!! :) i had so much fun and it was so nice to rediscover my roots.. .i haven't seen alexis, tanna, kimmie, cathy, denise, katrina, nikki, laura, nicola in at least a year... more for the others... its amazing that we go so far back (try 10 years!!!!!!!!!)... as katrina said, we are all still the same people underneath but with more layers... i think the layers make it so much more interesting... we have so many more things to talk about haha... i in particular, am happy that we are all part of the same crowd... like i know people they know... its such a small world... anyway, i swear, this has been one of the best christmas gifts even if its not christmas yet (at christmas i'm not after the material stuff but the moments and memz)... we're planning on getting together for another inuman session like in san mig the other day haha... kat, we shall educate you!!!!!!! wahahaha but i'm not drinking haha... i'm so happy i was able see them and click with this new barkada... its all good... its already 1230 and i dont' care if i dont' sleep... that's how amazed i am coz its been ages since the last time i felt so happy with friends like that... (no offense to anybody)...

we're even making a scrapbook of our years together and i'm so excited about it... i already looked up my pics and diary entries haha... shit... i regret not staying in tlc for the other 4 years but hey, things change for the better... i guess if i hadn't left, i wouldn't be feeling as thankful as i am now... its really comforting to know that i have a history with these priceless people... the memories don't stop flooding me... my highschool doesn't have much of a background as that but i'm sure i will when time passes...

Funstuff: *blow job (its a drink) = the little cup of heaven*every 2 mins "alana! how's college? what's it like? etc"* lek! happy birthday at fridays!!! woohoo!!! haha*anecdotes nonstop* kat and dick?!??!?!?!?!?!?*lek going nuts with kat not getting drunk* nonstop picture taking*chismischismischismis*heehee*laura&lek=basag*kat=antismokers!!!*love this song!!!* christmas gifts!!!*

priceless friends awards: tlc classmates!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMEMBERING ME!!!!!!!! LOVE YA ALL!!!

back to school...kinda...

well, i'm sure i failed 2 subjects but i'll survive... that means i can't be a candidate for honors... oh well... exams were surprisingly easy and multiple choice!!!!!!! thank god!!!!!!! it was also good to see my blockmates... too bad we're deblocking but for a change its ayt... i also hung out at the LMO and SPO... missed them too...

other stuff...

i'm really feeling the christmas spirit already :) i told you i'm after the moments and memz... i've had a lot of them already so along with fireworks in town, lights everywhere, the nice weather, its cool... i also find myself making people happy when they see me or when i give them christmas gifts and that is the most fulfilling...I FINALLY FEEL AS IF I'VE RECOVERED COMPLETELY FROM THE ILLNESS!!! :) i'm not meant to feel like an invalid but as a human being... maybe even more than a human being... thank god!!!!!!!!!!!! i missed this life...

well, the other day we didn't have a maid so for the record, i did the laundry for the first time haha... it was so freaking tiring... but i did a lot... the rents were proud hehe...

i watched the show of cass, pam, aileen, and cris hehe... it was really good for what it was...

i submitted my composition, goodbye, to a song composition contest... heehee... grand prize P2000... hope i win... it will really mean a lot to me whether i win or not... praying its safe though... i'm sure it is...

that's all i can blog right now coz i'm tired... -_-
its almost 1 heehee... bye guys...

shoutouts: eric, lek misses you
ticky and mikki, laura misses you
miguel!!! when are we all goin out???
tlc people see ya thurs!!!!!!!
no idea, i'm hoping you're gonna show up wed for some jamming...
to everybody HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

2005-12-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

dec 14

san miguel chorale concert

nice... ryan cayabyab is a genius... amazing how the choir did the dynamics and stuff... i love the blending... the carols enlightened my christmas spirit...yes, i have been feeling it more and more but its not as much as i expected... anyway, during the intermission, me and carla decide to go to the bathroom... the line was super loooooooooongggggg.... then when the guy in front of us was done using it, we were like thank god!!! at the end of the concert, they introduce ryan cayabyab to the stage and we are like O.O... he was the guy in front of us in the line into the bathroom... aahhhh!!!!! we've been singing his songs for years!!!!!!!!! how star struck were we??? VERY!!!!!!!!!

what;s been up with me...

i've been chilling here at home mostly.... i already flunked 2 subjects... weeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i was aiming for an honor at graduation pfft... but i'm ok with it now... i've accepted it... i'll probably flunk more subjects haha...

i've been eating like CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE ALREADY GAINED WEIGHT!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE CURVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P hahahahaha... gotta work my abs though... sigh...

i have a new job... my matriarchal parental unit has made me her accountant for the laundromat... however annoying it was in highschool, i miss accounting...

i went to immigrations with the fam for a few days to clear up the acr's and shit... OMG WHAT A FREAKING S**THOLE IMMIGRATIONS IS!!! nothing but people playing computer games!!! i wanted to go up to them and ask if i could play dota... then girls in rollers and guys slouched in their chairs... you'd think the workers would attend to all the foreigners but noooooo.... then people sending you everywhere, making you wait for the papers, and talking to you as if you were a pathetic slave... at one point i wanted to fight with the girl who told us "sabi ko sayo gagawin ko kaagad ngayon eh" i mean its your freaking job to do it!!! and another thing is, you were supposed to type that stuff last friday!!!!! it says so on the freaking claim stub!!!!!!!

what sucks is also that i'll have to become a dual citizen coz i'm turning 18... if i don't then i don't get the perks of living here... that means... hello rotc... that sucks...

i've also been concentrating on my music... and i tell you, its so wonderful... nothing but the guitar, violin, and its all good... I COMPOSED TWO SONGS!!!!!!!!! although they aren't ready for release yet, one of them could be the next goodbye :) and since tawana is also on pma (pahinga muna ako) i invited her to the house and we jammed :D she is so good on the drums and she is so gonna be the drummer of no idea :) another plus, is that she also has a passion for music and composing...

musical award goes to tawana

hm... what else...i'm happy i'm able to go out and stuff but its like all i ever want to do is stay home, eat, sleep, bum, stare into nothingness and play my guitar... see, i haven't even been blogging considering how much time i have... i'm missing summer more and more... the thing that kills me is that i'm all alone sometimes... sure i'm on vacation but hek, when there's no one to be on vacation with, its just absolute torture... no new faces, no new gimmicks... i've even lost the inspiration to write... if anyone is free don't forget me ayt :)

i went to town the other day... i'm gonna enroll in casa musica by january :) i had myself evaluted by the teacher to see what level i'm in... i play man in the mirror and after like 10 secs he says "ok magaling!!! advanced ka na!!!" IN YOUR FACE POPS ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!! he even said "mas magaling ka pa nga sa akin" i didn't believe it and i know that when it comes to technicalities i absolutely suck... well, that made my day :) knowing that i'm advanced not intermediate... its comforting to know that i got from intermediate to advanced on my own...

anyway, i gotta split... bye

2005-12-05T03:35:00.000-08:00

dec 4

the hardest part...

"how do you pick up the threats of a normal life???" -frodo from lord of the rings... yes, it is the hardest part... i spent an hour in school the other day to fix some stuff... i didn't think that after only an hour i'd be in such exhaustion... it feels so hard to get back on my feet... i have pretty much given up on a lot of things... some things more than others... and some things unexpected... in any case, i'm working on getting back to my old life... just watch

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

2005-11-30T02:18:00.000-08:00

got this from bea...

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth
Those who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gentle Poet.

Where You Lived: Tibet.

How You Died: Suicide.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Eyes Should Be Gray

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive

What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

2005-11-29T00:37:00.000-08:00

nov ???
welcome to the alter ego...

:P

i have lost track of all date, time, and thought... i've been lost in the world of harry potter books and been drugged til i realized that the doctor stuck a 6 inch long needle up my nose... i have come up with several conclusions about life and living in this state which are not worthy of being attained by your feeble little minds... those of which have not come to par with what i have been capable of enduring this past week... but let me give you a teaser of what you could be in for in the future... never try to fake being sick... it is a woeful act of immaturity and you feign health which is above all things, vital for survival... there is no possible way that i could have faked this and i did not ask for it... however, the circumstance dawned upon me... i, therefore, had no choice but to accept it... i wish to keep you insighted about all this but i'm afraid this illness has affected me mentally, physically, psychologically, and philosophically... i leave you with these thoughts now hoping i have still the power to affect your minds and psyche...

2005-11-26T02:41:00.000-08:00

hospital chronicles

in case youre wondering why i haven't updated my blog... i was hospitalized all freaking week... you have no idea what i went through... weakness, coughing, needle pokes everywhere, tremors, and drug after drug... think i'm exaggerating? guess again... it even felt like the four walls were closing in on me the whole time... the nurses weren't helpful at all either... on top of that, school is gonna be so hard when i get back... next term i'm only taking only 3 subjects... the cause of this whole ordeal was fatigue, dehydration, stress, and allergic rhinitis... and i'm not better yet... sad... but thank god i'm home... i hated that hospital...

special thanks goes to all who visited me: my family, lola, lolo, tita caren, tito mon, etc...
tito paquie for sending me flowers and fruits... nicky and josh for visiting me too... and for all the goodies i got to eat :) love you all!!!

revelations: i shouldn't be too hard on myself... everything was mental and psychological... taft is the most polluted place on earth... my subjects can go to hell... there's more to life than good grades... i can concentrate on my music life so much more with the easy sked next term... i must get into shape...

i also realized who my real friends are... they were there when i needed help and sympathy... i didn't even tell them about my illness and yet they gave it without question and without me even asking it from them... so i am disappointed with some people... those i counted on didn't even show that they cared... at least from the way i see it...

anyway, i had better be going... i need more rest... bye...

2005-11-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

nov 15

T.T

hello all... i'm depressed for some reason... i think i'm back to the emo days like in high school... and the sun it shines the same as yesterday but theres no warmth no light i feel empty inside... la lang... i'm just listening to the corrs... i love their music... check out what i wrote the other day.. i even scared myself because it was so nice and twisted...

to be one with the darkness
let it swallow me whole
to hear wind chimes is far less
than the fleeting of the soul
to hoover over land
and see a black veil fall
to feel a gentle hand
a mocker of them all

i still have to continue it... but tell me what you think ayt

i'm not feeling christmas

there are just too many problems to feel the christmas spirit... its so sad... i can't wait for the new year to start... lately, things have been so messed up... i shouldn't complain but i just feel bad coz even if i see so many vendors with parols at night, that tingly feeling is just not there... i think i need a retreat or reco.. anything to get my spirits up...but a few days ago, i read a few new testimonials from a few people that i hardly talk to... they said all the things that i didn't expect to hear from anybody... anyway, stuff should be getting better soon...

time for a new stupid essay...

Technical writing is one of the worst things to ever grace this world. In my opinion it takes away freedom and creativity. It is like a cage. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, technical writing is taking research and rephrasing it. The nightmare that it is restrains the person's right to his or her own voice. Even elaborations are restricted. Sure, the choice of words are optional however, its the content that worries me. I have known nothing better than creative writing - not only in poetry but in music and speech as well. The metaphors and representations of life are so powerful. There is always something hidden in the text. There is always a code to break. Most people are just too bothered by the juxtapositional beauty of the words. I myself have missed out on such riddles. Every line is traceable to another, second, thought. But watch out because sometimes there are exceptions. Artists may put words, songs, or paintings together with no specific meaning. Therefore, making you a fool because you made your own interpretation of it. The artist never intended you to make one.
Either way, the writer has got you due to the fact that you are forced to think. But that's what's so wonderful about it. Whether or not the artist intends you to, making a conclusion and reaction to the art is what matters. Enjoy it while you can.

2005-11-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

nov 13

this freaking week

OMG... all week i didn't stop working... and its not over... hardly... anyway, aside from schoolwork which i would rather not reflect on, this week featured:

i'm an alien

my records couldn't clear up coz i wasn't informed... hence, i can't enroll early... freaking foreign studen'ts unit... i didn't even know i was considered a foreign student... there goes my pre-enrollment and dean's list perks... everything i worked for last term=down the drain...

spo

we're working on a christmas story in sonnet form... and to make it harder, its a collaboration!!! wee!!! i submitted my version already and i'll post it some other time...

hi-ya!!!

yeay!!! i had my first judo/aikido/taekwondo lesson with josh!!! it was fun hahaha... he taught me the blocks, kicks, punches... we even fought a little bit hahaha... the funnest part was when we would throw me around... it didn't hurt the it felt like a rollercoaster or something haahaha... best part: its free!!! caching!!!! :P thanks josh!!!

FOR THE RECORD

haha yesterday went by in a complete blur... i'm still wondering why i haven't waken up from the nightmare...

#1 i was allowed to watch the concert in lasalle but didn't go coz i didn't have a ticket... that's the 2nd or 3rd time i miss some of the most popular bands in the phils...

#2 non-stop kwento with bea and karl!!! hahaha KARL GOODLUCK!!! we were even bullying bea

"I got fireworks!" - me
"I got disco lights!" - karl
"ALL YOU GOT WERE STARS AHAHAHAHAA" - me and karl

#3 this is nothing to be proud of but like i said FOR THE RECORD! but i smoked my first cigarette hahaha... i can see why its so porma but i hated it... i couldn't breathe for the next few hours...

#4 SEX!!!!!!!! hahaha of course Sinangag EXpress... it was good... (i know this doesn't have much relevance to FOR THE RECORD but you'll see later...

#5 again, this is nothing to be proud of but.... Mikki, Ticky, and I crashed at Angela's house... OMG did i get wasted or what?!?!?!?!!?!?! it was freaking insane!!! my first time (and last time) to get drunk... i just couldn't believe my resistance really sux... i was down after 4 shots... everyone else was laughing at me and asking me all these questions... but it was all a blur... next thing i know, i'm getting sick all over the place... damn... i swear... i'm never drinking again... i'm limiting myself to wine and shirley temples...

so... i got drunk, had sex, and smoked all in one day hahaha... kulang nalang drugs but that's where i draw the line... and also the real sex... i'm no wild girl and i'm no druggie and i'll be the first one to throw the weed out the window...

anyway... that's all... see ya'll...

2005-11-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

nov 4

talk about idiocracy

the other day, carla, me and mama went to SM to do some stuff... when we completed our errands, carla and i decide that we wanna go ice skating... BIG MISTAKE... we were slipping and sliding all over the place... its not that i haven't been ice skating before but its that i'm still trying to get the hang of it... it was such a comedy because carla and i would cling on to the rail and all these little kids would be doing jumps and turns... argh... this instructor dude was even telling his student "mas magaling ka pa sa dalawa na yan o"... we felt like killing the guy... lesson of the day: don't go ice skating unless its with micah wahahahahaha

reunion

after the embarrassing ordeal in SM, i had a reunion with my old friends from OB... xandra, sherris, bren, and tawana were able to make it :) it was ayt... we did nothing but bum haha...

halloween

haha... we got into trouble but it wasn't too bad... carla, alexis, and me ended up in ken's house... oh well... we crashed celine's house too and saw the pics from eK hehe... halloween isn't the same though... unless its with many friends no thanks... love the candy though :)

no idea?

me carla and pam jammed yesterday hehe... we're trying out the christmas medley of the choir last year :) it should be nice... hopefully we all get to practice...

2005-10-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

oct 30

one of the best days ever

i went to Enchanted Kingdom with Micah, Cassie, Ken, Ticky, Mikki, Celine, Annabelle, Carla, and Aileen :) it was so much fun!!!!!!!! ok... chronologically: we met up in town :) hung out in starbucks and pissed this girl in yellow off because we were so noisy haha.. we obviously haven't seen each other in the longest time - hence the noise... we were super impatient for the car to arrive...it arrived 3, departure time was supposed to be 1 haha... it was ayt... being with the trumpets peepz is nice enough... anyway, laugh trip... we wanted to stranggle the driver coz we were late and we kept getting lost argh... oh well... its too bad that it was raining coz when i woke up it was nice and sunny (i was even singing "don't rain on my parade" haha)... we played that alphabet of porn movies again hahaha.. sick people... we arrived at EK 4pm... it was still raining... well, in short - flying fiesta whew!!! what a breath of fresh air... anchors away ahhhh!!! i was clinging on to ticky with my life... funny part is, i enjoyed it more this time and i was sitting in the same place i did when i was a little kid... carla chickened out!! little roller coaster pfft!!! rio grande rapids wet!!! haha screams everywhere... space shuttle AHHHHHHH!!! SCARY!!! i enjoyed it going forward but not backward coz i was blacking out, i felt like i was on the moon when i got off then i felt really sick and didn't talk for another half hour, thanks cass for the hugs coz i needed it haha... ferris wheel we didn't know if it was relaxing coz of the view or freaky because of the heights... swan lake bwisit, we were next to board then micah says we have to go... bumper cars - MIKKI I GOT YOU SO BAD!!! as in the cart tipped to the side a little bit, then the spectators were like 'ooohhhh" hahahhaa that's about it on the rides... i can't believe that i didn't chicken out in any of them... hahaha

as for the perks: it was halloween!!! scary costumes... we were freaking each other out hahaha... the whole gimmick was care of micah... thanks biatch!!! love ya!!! hm... firebreathers, drums, VIP food, wet shoes and socks then i changed into slippers (it was worth the 125 rip off), damn the lines!!! damn the puddles and wetness!!! i loved the hot cappucino in the cold damp night... fireworks were the best...

funstuff: *SEX TAYO AFTER EK!!! SARAP!!! then people were looking at us with freaked out looks and big eyes hahahaha priceless i swear * MIKKI I GOT YOU SO BAD!!! HAHA * micah with her embarrassing moments sorry guys, that's censored * people chickening out with the rides... KJS!!! * BIATCH!!! *swan thingy, swan thingy, swan thingy!!! * me looking for carla, ken, and cel frantically when they were right in front of me * cel going to the wrong entrance in the little roller coaster * etc.

life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but the number of moments that take your breath away

love you trumpets peepz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

oct 28

this week...

ok... this week has been so much better than last week... monday i had a suuuuuuuuppppppperrrrrrrr long break from 8 to 230... yikes... what did i do? i hung around with karl and had the usual fun chat... best part: remember some guy blew me off by asking me out then not taking me seriously? well, karl and i encountered him in the yosi area next to chowking... laugh trip, first karl and i were talking about robots and cartoons... then i go "i have something to tell you. that's the guy!!!" then karl (from his comic character) acts all tough and angas hahaha with the serious poker face and all!!! he even made pa-simple that he was flexing his muscles hahaha and instead of talking about cartoons, we start talking about cars hahaha... hope the guy who blew me off got the point to not mess with me coz i have connections... i love people who are so protective of me...
THANKS KUYA BOYFRIEND!!!

i also helped inspect the newest edition of the spo's literary folio, shades of gray (my work is in it btw)... many defects... its like HULI KA!!! when i would find an error in the printing... i have to say though, i love my job... i also got to orgranize the launching :) i was in charge of the balloons hehe and i hooked up tani's band - sky is the limit with a gig... i also played the guitar with cj singing :) ATTENTION POPS ORCHESTRA: I AM WORTH SOMETHING AND I PROVED IT WHEN I PLAYED THE LINE-UP OF SONGS DURING THE LAUNCH ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESSLY!!! :) i had a great time playing... and everyone was congratulating me too :) i swear, it all compensated for what happened to me last week with that rejection text... it was sooooo cool... i played one of these days by michelle branch and adia by sarah mclachlan... the launching also featured us being introduced as the new staffers :)... the theme was corporate punk!!! woohoo!!! i totally dressed up for it!!! hehehe... so cool but i didn't win best dressed... it was all a set up!!! not fair!!! haha i still felt great about what i was wearing (red shirt, blue tie and blazer, white miniskirt and sandals, black belt and accessories)... and i have to say that i had fun anyway... there was also a poetry reading but i didn't pay any attention coz i was psyching myself out with my performance... only mama watched :( oh well, better than nobody :) i loved the filipinescas dance hehehe... and i loved all the poetry!!! so inspiring... i even got a soundtrack cd of split-second eternities (shades of gray)... guys!!! get yourselves a copy of shades of gray!!! its really good!!! THE CHERRY ON TOP: Angelo Suarez, the palanca winner in ust, and editor in chief in ust ASKED FOR MY AUTOGRAPH!!! I'M NOT WORTHY!!! ME and Xants were like THAT DID NOT JUST FREAKING HAPPEN!!! WOAH!!!

all in all, it was a great experience for me... being part of a really great organization... being acknowledged and applauded for my participation in the org and for my performance with cj, hanging out with great friends, dressing up in a fun corporate punk attire, and being asked for an autograph hehehe... i'll post pictures soon...

congratulations literary section for a successful launch!!!

"to see the world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower; hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour" - william blake

yesterday morning, it rained... so... i totally bummed out!!! woohoo!!! i turned on the cd player and loaded the split-second eternities soundtrack, got a cup of my fav caramel mocha coffee, crashed on the couch, and read shades of gray hehe... ERRATUM!!!! the one who edited my work did a bad job coz there's some wrong grammar... its not obvious though... anyway... at 1, class was ayt... i felt smart with algebra and economics... my partner was matthew again hehe... he's a good teammate to work with... problem was, it was raining... apparantly, there's a typhoon… oh well, I GET A WEEK OFF SCHOOL!!! WOOHOO!!! I'M LOVING IT!!! IF ANYONE IS FREE, I'M FREE!!! LET'S GO OUT!!! HEHEHE...

today…

i swear when the lord closes the door, somewhere he opens the window

today i had a pictorial!!! :) it was so much fun hahaha... its like out of nowhere my friend jen from the spo asks me "alana pwede ka mag-model for my photography class?" and i was like "HELL YA!!!" hahaha... apparantly, they were providing the clothes... thank god she made me wear something decent!!! and something that suited my figure!!! except too early for... wanna guess??? A WEDDING GOWN!!! :P but it was nice :) it was sorta messed up and damaged which was part of the effect... i really liked it... i pretended that i was like the corpse bride when i was posing seriously...i even did the paris hilton pose nax hehehe... then i made all pa-cute... how annoying and i felt funny hahaha... i tried to look like i was getting married na talaga hahaha... dunno if it was enough... embarrassing when she made me go downstairs to plaza v and pose there!!! its like i was passing by people and they kept staring... (in actuallity, i liked the atttention hahaha... its fun making rampa!!! its the star complex kicking in!!! woohoo!!!) what an insult though - that i was wearing a wedding dress and that i got rained upon... as if i'd never get married hahaha...

anyway, i had class after but i didn't tell anyone about the pictorial hehe... so they were all like "alana, nakamakeup" hahaha...remember that bitch of a teacher that didn't let me do the project??? well, she's giving me a chance after the vacation!!! woohoo!!! i was like thank god... so i'm doing "if i ain't got you" in tagalog with jeremy... i have no idea how i'm going to pull that off but i assure you i will...

i also had the initial interview with my counselor but it was nothing special...
then i had lunch with my blockmates and just hung around... i skipped my last class because i was hitching a ride with tani... btw, i saw this really cute guy talking to nicky... for the first time in ages i was like O.O and that hasn't happened since ****** hehehe... he even looked at me!!! aaaaahhh!!! good thing i kept the makeup on... (damn you star complex... i swear i'm getting vainer by the second)... unfortunately, the boy is taken :( but according to nicky, he has a brother hahahaha... but i dont' really care... as long as the cute guys are there to brighten up a day for a while...

after tani dropped me off at miggy's i waited for like half an hour then mama picked me up and went home...

i had so much inspiration today for some reason... maybe it was the pictorial or the fact that i was given a second chance or a friend letting me hitch a ride or learning about social groups in sociology or being excited about E.K. on sunday with the trumpets peepz or the beautiful stranger outside the classroom or the sun shining through the stormy clouds... in any case, check out what i wrote...

i looked at the sky

and i was happy

i am on the journey home

and i feel glad

the day is done

and i am beautiful

lady luck smiled upon me

and i became fulfilled

i am never alone anymore

and i know life's better

hell's reign is over

and i see my days are good

i recall accounts of yesterday

and i grin with the memories

i wait for my mother here

and i'm assured by a message

i patiently relax now

and i sense time pass by

the elegance is a stranger

and i am tingly and shy inside

look!

panther jumps up again in

nook

high she dwells and towers kin

time

has compensated dissolution

rhyme

is cool with no illusions

haste

the whip is at your feet

taste

the emanating force sweet

panther

on the go above all else

enchanter

has revived, everyone tells

btw, i wanna try something new... ask me any question and i'll answer you no matter how indiscreet it may be... your tag is welcome... :P

2005-10-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

oct 22

recap of the hell week

1. i wasn't accepted in the pops orchestra...

2. i lost 25% of my grade in filipino coz my prof is a bitch

3. studying was so hard in between all the drama

4. i got 97 in my sociology presentation... everyone said i looked good in my corporate attire... (for once my makeover paid off)

5. midterms were survivable

6. i got my hair rebonded and dyed but i need to have it done again coz it looks bad

7. some jerk was like pulling my leg and wasting my time by asking me out then saying that he wasn't serious... (i really didn't want to go out with him, but the fact that it was just one big trip pissed me off coz i'm not a force to be reckoned with, especially this week)

8. i basked in the sun this morning for nothing coz i didn't tan...

9. the launching of the shades of gray publication is on wed :) i might be able to play just to prove that i'm worth something to the pops orchestra people...

10. drama drama drama...

11. yesterday, i could say that i had a total of 2 hours class coz of midterms... so i was on break like 8 hours...

12. got freaked out in the bathroom coz i saw a ghost...

13. mikki ditched me yesterday for a jam session so i had a really sad friday...

14. i have a feeling the gimmick later isn't pushing through because people are all whack...

15. i just got tani and justin's band a gig on wed...

16. i'll be able to apply for asst. editor for the literary section but i don't think i will...

17. karl says that i need a makeover badly... well everyone thinks so...

18. etc... just let me know if you need anything... it makes me feel special...

19. i am such a loser... sorry guys... this week has been terrible...

2005-10-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

oct 19

only for my passion will i ever surpass this pain...

my destruction

in a form of deprivation

I am killed by a slip of a note

hearing- a bittersweet phenomenon

walked a tightrope unknowingly

thinking i would never falter

hidden from me is the reason --- why?

the secret behind replusion shatters

the soul depending upon that vigour

now I lie dark and cold

but still hoping the pheonix will rise

again to greater heights

than all will be covered with shame

regret shall fill the being

and walls fall on the bowers

can you guess what happened?

2005-10-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

oct 18

gimmick life...

last sunday i went out with carla, mikki, and ticky... it was carla's bday celebration... i got her the latest corrs album - THE BEST SO FAR!!! i love the mystery to their music now... its called home and i suggest you get it... anyway, we all hung out... played bumper cars in festival and then watched Into the Blue... PAUL WALKER IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!! we were all drooling... funny thing about this gimmick, everybody was so indecisive... we all didn't know what to do haha... it was fun :)

school life...

its going ok... grades are stabilizing.. hopefully... i played the guitar in mass today :) i love it... i missed my freaking appointment in the counseling... dammit... anyway, i told karl that i needed a makeover, and he didn't stop giving me suggestions on what to do... shocking... (he looks like tom cruise in top gun now hehe... cute... ) anyway, i'm really gonna get that makeover soon... hair on thurs, and i'm starting to tone up my bod... my inspiration -- jessica alba!!! after seeing the guys drool all over her i shall soon have a body like hers... (or at least close to it...) midterms are this week and i don't even think i'll study... its so terrible... what's happening to me!!!!!!!!! well, as i said, this term is an org-based term... i'm going to the main tom to check if i got into pops orchestra coz the suspense is killing me... :P